


Sympathy For The Devil

by Adarian



Series: The Rolling Stones Trilogy (1960's AU) [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: 1960's AU, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, M/M, Unapologetic Mary Sue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:09:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Blight, the Warden Tabris has disappeared, leaving Ferelden without Grey Warden leadership. Due to unfortunate events and treaty restrictions, Warden Private Ray Caron must take her place as the Arlessa and Commander in 1960's styled Amaranthine. With few resources and under public scrutiny, Caron must rebuild the Order and defend her new territory as a new darkspawn threat looms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Nathaniel would always remember exactly where he was when he saw the footage of Ostagar. He was at the bar, watching the Royals take the Chevaliers in over time, his friends from the factory booing as the emergency news report took over.

**Over 500 presumed dead. 2000 missing. Archdemon possibly sighted.**

He watched in horror, his hand going over his mouth. The bar grew loud and he went to the back, grabbing all the spare change he had and tossing it into the pay phone. He prayed quickly that someone, anyone, would pick up. 

But the line was disconnected.

Nathaniel tried again through the switchboard, but the operators were flooded. He finally hung up as his money ran out.

He went back to the table, sitting stiffly. A friend passed him a drink and Nathaniel downed it without thinking. Nathaniel turned over to his supervisor, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I need to go home," Nathaniel said over the din. 

Brannon waved him off, but Nathaniel insisted, "Back to Ferelden. I need to go tonight. I need the week off."

"If I let every Ferelden walk off tomorrow because they've got someone back home, no one will get a new toaster for months. If you want to quit, quit then. Otherwise, you're back on the line. Sorry, Howe. I mean it." 

Nathaniel glanced back up at the screen. The corpses of the Ferelden army lay on the ground, the air still full of silverite mist. Cameramen dropping their equipment as they fled from the horde.

Any one of those corpses could be Thomas'. Or his father's. 

Nathaniel said angrily, "Then I quit."

He stormed out of the bar, his hands shaking. He waved down a cab and managed to get into his apartment before his whole body trembled. Nathaniel started packing everything he could find. If something had happened to his father or brother, he might not be coming back to the Free Marches anytime soon. He should phone his landlord. Maybe give his bus pass to Henry so the old man could at least make some use of it.

Nathaniel noticed the light on his phone flashing. He dialed into his voicemail. A few other ex-pats phoning him to ask if he had any news. He reluctantly deleted them, nearly erasing the last before hearing it.

For the first time in ten years, he heard his father's voice:

"Nate...whatever happens...just....never mind."

Nathaniel played it again and again, confused, angry, worried. He eventually put the speaker back down. He grabbed his bag and passport. He locked his door for one last time before calling a cab to the airport.

***

Most people in that airport were going North, getting away from the chaos. There were a few like him, gravely waiting in line. From the patches on some of their arms, he knew some were returning for military service. A brief wave of panic filled him as he held his passport in his hand. He was still a citizen of Ferelden. He would be drafted the second his plane touched down on the ground, even if they knew who he was. 

Nathaniel wasn't a coward, but he wasn't going back to die for his country. He was going back to protect Amaranthine. 

He left the line just as an announcement blared over the speaker system. 

"All flights leaving and arriving in Calahad International Airport have been cancelled effective immediately. Those planning on traveling to Ferelden are asked to contact the embassy in Ostwick for further information. Gwaren International and Domestic Airport has been closed until further notice."

Nathaniel gripped his hands into tight fists. He could get in through Orlais and cross the mountains, but who knew what the border guard would be like...and to cross that much distance on foot...

He could also go by boat. But he knew what his chances were like. Even if he wasn't captured by pirates, this time of year the passage was dangerous. At least on foot he could protect himself without fear of drowning. 

He watched the arrivals and departures board change, the letters "TBD" filling the screen slowly. 

He joined a makeshift camp in a lounge. Others came and went as they made other arrangements. Nathaniel pulled out his wallet, unfolding the picture of himself and two siblings as children.

Thomas was likely dead. He had to accept that. Amaranthine was far north, but Delilah was still in danger. And his father...he had to save him, even if Rendon wasn't worth saving.

He folded the picture and put it back in his wallet. 

Nathaniel lined back up. 

When he finally reached the vendor, he asked quietly, "How much to Val Royeaux?"

***

The Orleasian city was crowded and filthy. He couldn't find a hotel room and ended up staying at a hostel in the inner city. He barely slept, holding his bag to him. 

He could hear the others whispering around them. Borders were closing. Ferelden refugees weren't going to be allowed in soon. Too many spreading disease. The best way to get back and forth would be the Frostbacks, but that would be near suicidal. 

In the morning, Nathaniel spent the rest of his money on mountaineering equipment and rations. With everything he owned on his back, he started walking.

***

Nathaniel crossed the border at night, avoiding the guards. For the first time in a decade, he was in his homeland.

The trouble was, he was on the wrong side of it.

***

He crossed most of the Frostbacks on foot, but on the descent managed to hitch a ride with a trucker going to Redcliffe. He spent a few nights in the village recovering. The place was decimated, apparently the dead had risen. Nathaniel was too tired to care. He mostly slept and watched the news. 

He had seen footage of his father now at Loghain's side. It seemed Rendon had managed to make quite the name for himself in such a short time. It left Nathaniel with a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

Nathaniel was stuck outside Orzammar for nearly a week. He spent his days and nights at a tavern, gambling the little coin he had left.

It was there he finally managed to get a phone call home.

The connection with Samuel was brief, too brief. Thomas was dead, as Nathaniel had long suspected. Delilah was alive and well. The static was too much and finally Nathaniel had to give up.

Three days later in an inn outside Highever, he would find out that his father was dead.

Nathaniel sat in horror, watching the footage of the Grey Warden brought into the police car, covered in his father's blood. He saw the second Warden too, being brought into Fort Drakon for unmentioned crimes. He memorized their faces, the elf and the bastard. The two reasonable for the death of his brother, of his father. Of so many of his people.

He would kill them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I was done with this AU but then one day I started listening to this song and went DAMN. I was doing Nano, I know, but we're doing this now for the word count. Whatever. Yolo.
> 
> A few notes before we start:  
> 1) No, I have no plans to do an Inquisition 1970's AU, as much as I would love to see Disco Blackwall and Lion Afro Cullen. I know nothing about the 1970's.  
> 2) Canon Carol is from Orlais. I know. But in this world, Jader has become a mega city that stretches across the border. Because I forgot where Jader was and I went with it.  
> 3) I'm actually going to call this Warden by her first name, because I know, weird, but I personally always get really confused when the Orleasian Wardens' last names are used because I'm not familiar with them and my Caron verges on an OC anyways.


	2. Chapter One

Ray Caron waited in the lineup, trying to ignore the freezing rain soaking through her uniform. At least she couldn't feel her swollen lip. She tried not to look down at the men she had pummeled the night before. As bad as she looked, at least they looked worse.

Commander Stroud stood before them with a list in hand. 

"King Alistair Theirin has given official clearance for Grey Wardens to enter the country on foot. Once we cross the border, we have been allowed to bring Wardens and our gear across the mountains by plane and armed vehicles. We will be sending a unit of twenty men to claim Amaranthine and begin preparations for our base there. Once Amaranthine has been established as a secure location, we will be allowed to send four Wardens to serve as diplomats in Denerim. Each of these Wardens will be a Ferelden citizen as well as whoever is chosen to be the Warden Commander of Ferelden."

A murmur went through the line. Chosen? Wasn't there already a Warden Commander of Ferelden? 

"The following Wardens will prepare to go as the primary unit to Amaranthine."

Ray listened in boredom as Stroud read the list. She knew she was getting sent back to Weisshaupt the minute they could get her on a boat, Ferelden citizen or not.

After the men had been listed, they left the line up to return to the barracks. 

Stroud continued, "The following Warden and Warden recruits have been given permission to continue on to Amarathine in the company of Commander Gordon Blackwall. Private Ray Caron."

Ray was shocked to hear, looking around in disbelief, as she stepped forward. 

"Private Recruit Mhairi Kenneth."

Ray glanced over, seeing the only other female in the unit step forward tentatively. Mhairi kept her arms behind her back, her eyes forward.

"You will be sent out at 1200 hours. Please prepare your belongings and arrive at the south entrance fifteen minutes beforehand. The rest of you, dismissed."

Ray saluted before going to her barracks. Which was little more than a tent she had requested after three uncomfortable months in the same shack as the men. She had been sleeping in the tent alone all through the winter, which she supposed was good training for Amaranthine. Mhairi had only arrived the week before, the poor kid hadn't even done her Joining yet. Ray was trying not to get used to having her around, just in case. 

Mhairi entered a moment after she did, packing her bags angrily.

"Who spat in your cereal?" Ray asked. "I thought you'd be happy to see some action so quickly. At least we might get a bed and running water."

"You know why they're sending us," Mhairi grunted, punching her sleeping bag before rolling it up. "Commander Blackwall is a recruiter and we're the only two women. They're going to use us to drum up business. Oh look, the Wardens accept everyone. Bullshit. If we were going to serve under Commander Tabris, that would be one thing, but-"

"Yeah, what's this whole choosing a new Commander thing?" Ray asked.

"Didn't you hear?" Mhairi asked, whispering. "She ran off. She's in Seheron now as a diplomat to the Qunari. Apparently she married one of them. It's been a big scandal, I'm surprised no one told you."

"So who are they going to get to replace her?"

"I heard there is a Ferelden Warden living in the Anderfels and they're going to airlift him in now that the border is open. I think he's a Lieutenant. Going to be a big shock for him."

"Recruiting isn't the worst job," Ray tried to reassure.

"I joined the Wardens to fight for my country," Mhairi snarled, "not to be a pretty face. I won't convince people to join a cause they don't believe in."

Ray shrugged. "Blight's over, you're not going to do much fighting anyways. I've heard Blackwall is a decent guy at least. You're not going to have to worry about him being a sexist pig or anything."

"Who was it this time?" Mhairi asked, pointing at Ray's black eye.

"Gared," Ray said, rolling her eyes. "Grabbed my ass, so I kicked his. I'm so tired of having to prove myself every couple of days. I've still got bruises from last week. If it's just us two and a man who keeps his hands to himself, I'll be happy enough to serve as a recruiter."

"I just...I don't want to risk the Joining if I'm not going to actually do anything. I thought after the Blight things were going to be different for women Wardens. I didn't think it would be like this."

"You're going to be fine," Ray reassured, patting her back. "Come on, we don't have a lot of time. Let's get some rations in case there's no peanuts on the plane."

"If we're lucky enough for a plane," Mhairi grumbled.

The two women walked out towards the designated entrance. A man with a thick black beard smiled and waved them over.

"Hello ladies," he said cheerfully. "Let me get your gear."

Ray normally would insist to carry her own bag, but the man was the size of both her and Mhairi put together. He could deal with their bags.

"We'll be crossing the border and taking a vehicle to Redcliffe," he explained, gesturing for them to follow. "We'll spend a night or two there making a few speeches, then head over to Denerim. I think we'll do your Joining there, Mhairi, if you don't mind. The King would like to witness the first Warden after the Blight. It'll be a quiet ceremony, don't worry, no cameras. Afterwards, we will head to Amaranthine and you'll join the others."

"We won't be recruiters?" Ray asked.

"If you want to be, you can, but I've heard reports of both of your physical skills. I think recruiting should be left to old soldiers like me. Amaranthine will need every able body it has. If whoever the Commander is thinks otherwise, we'll tell him to go to hell and you'll come along with me."

Mhairi smirked. 

Ray looked ahead as they left the camp, the border just a few feet away. Mhairi went first, showing her passport and visas. She was cleared quickly and walked through. Ray hesitated and Blackwall put a hand on her shoulder.

She tried to explain, "I haven't been back since..." 

"Ferelden will be a very different country than the one you left," Blackwall said softly. "For better and for worse. Trust in your fellow Wardens and in yourself. You have the strength to face it." 

Ray went ahead, showing her documentation. Her passport was stamped and she was allowed through. She blinked as a flash went off nearby her. Reporters snapped pictures, one speaking quickly into a little tape recorder. Blackwall followed and waved the two women over. They climbed into a pick up truck and he tossed their gear into the back.

Ray turned, watching Orlais disappear through the back window. Good riddance.

***

Blackwall was oddly charming and had the best stories. Mhairi slept most of the way to Redcliffe, but Ray sat beside him, enraptured with old tales. She took over driving once they passed the Frostbacks, letting him rest.

They both stayed close to him as he made his rounds, introducing himself to the survivors of the war. A few agreed to take passage to Weisshaupt to begin their training, as it was decided that Amaranthine did not have the capacity for recruits for at least a few more months. The Wardens would pay for everything and for these people who had nothing, they could see no downside.

Ray phoned home to East Jader when they reached Redcliffe. Her mother sobbed, having not heard from her in three months. Ray reassured her father and brothers that she would come visit the moment she had leave. She smiled when she finally put the hotel phone down. She was home and they were safe. She could handle the rest.

They went to Ostagar the next day. Warden Blackwall left them to view the new monument by themselves as he walked the battlefields alone. When he came back, it was obvious that he had been crying. Ray did the rest of the driving that day.

***

Both Ray and Mhairi tried not to freak out when they were invited to stay at the Royal Palace. Blackwall had given them a small allowance to buy a new dress or suit for the simple dinner with the King. Neither of them generally cared that much about their appearance, but they enjoyed shopping together and getting their nails done. And Denerim merchants were more than happy for them to spend their money with them.

Blackwall accompanied them into the dining hall. Ray was surprised to see that only the King sat at the table. He stood until they sat down. 

King Alistair said kindly to Mhairi, "I was too nervous to eat before my Joining, but it's easier if you do. Once we finish, we will go to the Chantry. If you have no objections. It's the best place to get away from reporters."

Mhairi nodded silently.

"Private Caron, you took your Joining in Orlais, I hear."

"Yes, your highness," Ray said. "I was recruited just outside of West Jader when the borders first closed. At the time, we expected to cross shortly, so I undertook the ritual then. I have been a Warden for just under a year now."

"I would say I'm surprised they didn't send you straight to Amaranthine, but I think we both know better," King Alistair replied. "I have to admit, it was not the easiest thing to serve beside a woman during the Blight, but I learned how strong and capable Warden Tabris was. It is not a popular opinion, but I do believe that she was the real leader between the two of us during the Blight."

"Is Warden Tabris well?" Blackwall asked. 

"As far as I know," the King said. "She phoned me when she first landed and written me once or twice. She is likely to have her first official visit in the next few months, but she will no longer be a Warden by then."

Someone opened the door and came in, whispering to the King. He stood, excusing himself from the table.

"Urgent business, I'm afraid. I'll see you all shortly. Please, eat without me."

***

When it was over, both Blackwall and the King were relieved they had not allowed any publicity about Mhairi's Joining. The young woman passed quickly, painlessly. Ray wanted to help them move the body, but Blackwall insisted it was his duty to ensure she received a proper pyre. 

Ray went out into the gardens to get some fresh air, surprised to see the King sitting on a bench, his head in his hands. He noticed her and gestured for her to come over to him. Ray did so hesitantly.

"Blackwall wanted me to tell you that you will be leaving in the morning. Try to get some rest while you can, the waters can be quite rough this time of year."

"Thank you, your highness," she said, turning to leave. She startled as he put his hand on her shoulder.

"I am sorry," the King said quietly. "For what it is worth, I know what it is like to be alone. Do not let our brothers tell you otherwise, you deserve to be there as much as anyone else does."

Ray could have told him how she was nearly beat to a pulp her first month as a recruit. Or the times she had been spat on or had smoke blown in her face. Or how she had slept with a knife under her pillow every night since she left Jader. But instead she smiled weakly and nodded. "Thank you, your highness."

"I almost wish I was going with you tomorrow," he said, pulling away. 

"We could switch places?" 

If the King heard her, he didn't laugh.


	3. Chapter Two

Blackwall didn't speak much during the five-hour boat trip. They were dressed in civilian clothes to not bring attention to themselves. Ray wore a soft flowy blue dress that her mother would have loved and Blackwall wore a faded green sweater and slightly dirty jeans. 

They leaned out on the railing together in comfortable silence, watching the ocean. After what felt like an eternity, he finally said, "When we get into port, I'll be going south again. We'll need more recruits as soon as possible. I have a phone number for you to call once you get to the city. One of the others will come pick you up and drive you up to the Keep. I'm sorry to abandon you-"

"It's fine," Ray reassured. "I can handle myself."

"I trust you, I don't trust all of them," he said. "It's not safe for a woman to travel on her own. If I had a choice, I would not leave you like this."

"I was a huntress for all of my adult life," she reminded. "I can protect myself."

"It is not the animal beasts, nor the darkspawn, I worry about," Blackwall said. "In men's hearts lies the wildest of creatures. Be careful. I go to Highever from here. I will phone you when I arrive to make sure you are settled."

They made their goodbyes on the docks, Blackwall disappearing quickly into the crowd. Ray grabbed her bags and made her way into the City of Amaranthine. She stopped at a diner and called the number Blackwall had left. No one replied. She frowned, but decided not to worry about it.

As it grew late, she found a hotel and booked in. She laid out her weapons and uniform on the bed beside hers before stripping down. She turned on the television and attempted to phone the Keep again. No answer.

After a bath, she changed into her nightgown. She opened up the window to look upon Vigil's Keep far in the distance. She hesitated, looking at the ominous clouds rising above the Keep.

She turned, seeing the fuzzy black and white news report of a darkspawn attack a few miles from the city. She looked back at the Keep. It wasn't clouds. It was smoke.

Ray dressed quickly, forgoing all but the basics. She strapped her weapons to her and grabbed her coat and bag, racing downstairs. She checked out and asked the concierge where she could get a car.

The man looked at her in amusement, clearly judging her trousers. When he ignored her repeated question, she stormed out into the parking lot. A man and a woman were just leaving their car to go into the hotel. Ray grabbed her gun and held it in front of her. The woman screamed, hiding behind him.

"I need your vehicle," Ray ordered, holding up her Grey Warden badge. "The Wardens of Ferelden will reimburse you for it, but I need it right now."

The man tossed her the keys and they ran. Ray jumped in, readjusting the mirror, before taking off towards the hills. She followed the trail of smoke in the darkening sky. She prayed it wouldn't be too late.

***

At the ruined gates of Vigil's Keep, Ray parked and got up slowly from her car. She held her gun in one hand and her silverite sword in the other. She walked forward, trying to control her breathing.

"This is Private Ray Caron!" She called out. "Can anyone hear me?"

Her boots sunk slightly into the mud as she went further in, seeing a merchant stall ablaze. She felt the darkspawn before she saw it and whipped around, her blade making contact with flesh. The genlock tried to snap its jaws at her, but she cut through its throat. 

She raced ahead, shooting another darkspawn who grew close to her. She raced in through the broken grand doors. The lights flickered on and off. She walked carefully, trying not to rip her thin shoes on the broken glass. She heard a war cry and ran forward towards the sound.

A large dwarf with an even larger machine gun plowed down a row of hurlocks. He turned and saw her, waving.

"Someone's alive!" He cheered. "Good. Here I thought I would die alone. You any good with that little pistol, sweetheart? I've got enough umph for both of us?"

Ray shot an inch away from his face and he laughed, "Good! Let's go! What's your name, boss?"

"Boss? I just got here."

"Well, you're the only alive Warden I see around here. Unless you're just a recruit like me. But you smell like them. Standard deodorant? They couldn't find any perfume for you, precious?"

"I won't miss next time, dwarf," Ray warned. 

"The lower level is pretty much clear. The second story is where the action is. Stairs?"

"Only if you go first. I'm not going to die with you leering at me."

"Hey, I'm a married man."

"Your poor wife," she muttered.

Ray reached the second story, following behind the dwarf. The lights seemed steadier on this level and she could see somewhat, even if it was only the gore left behind from the decimated Wardens. She saw a few sparks of electricity and she signaled the dwarf to go right.

A blonde mage in tight black pants, no shoes, and a torn white t-shirt stood in front of a pile of dead CBI agents. The electricity from his hands ceased as a final genlock hit the ground.

He looked up at the two of them in surprise and put up his hands. "It wasn't me."

"What happened to your shoes?" Ray asked. "It's barely 2 degrees out there."

"Hard to run in sandals?" He said sheepishly. "Come on, we can debate my footwear later. Let's try to not get killed first. Now, this is going to sound mad, but there appears to be a talking darkspawn on the roof. We should deal with that, right?"

Ray nodded. "Lead on."

The three went forward, the dwarf tossing the shivering mage his jacket, which hung heavily around him. They fought their way up to the ramparts. The snow began to fall as Ray saw the darkspawn laughing ahead of them. It turned to see her, but she had already vaulted herself in the air. She came down hard, her sword burying deep inside his chest. 

The creature whispered, "Father, help me."

Ray pulled the blade out and shook. Its eyes glazed over. The dwarf called out for her to look and she turned, seeing the lights on the horizon.

"Calvary's here," the mage said.

"Better late than never," Ray sighed.

***

Ray sat in the chair, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She drank weak coffee as the three of them decided her fate for her. 

"We cannot just accept her as-"

"She is the only Warden in this building, Mrs. Woolsey, we cannot just ignore-"

"She's just a little girl. If she didn't have that dirty apostate with-"

"Enough!"

Ray looked up, seeing the King enter the room. She rose, the blanket slipping off her shoulders.

"Private Caron," King Alistair said. "A word?"

She nodded.

"The rest of you get out," he ordered.

The three advisors left, leaving them alone.

"Sit down," the King said kindly.

Ray sat nervously.

King Alistair ran his hand through his hair. "You're not making this easy for me, Private. As part of the treaty with the Wardens, there has to be a minimum presence of twenty Wardens in Ferelden. Besides Commander Blackwall, who we are searching for now, you are the only one left alive in this country."

"There were a hundred men waiting in Orlais," Ray said. "You would just have to-"

"That's the thing," he interrupted. "We negotiated this for months, Private. There must be a Warden Commander in Ferelden. Even if we sent a dozen men through the Joining tomorrow, you are the most experienced Ferelden born Warden. Normally that doesn't matter, but according to our treaty, you are currently the only candidate for the position."

"What?" Ray asked.

"There were three Ferelden born Wardens who came over in the first unit. They are all dead. You are the only one left and unless a recruit shows incredible potential and saves the world over, there is no logical reason to place them higher in rank than you."

Ray shivered as the King sat down across from her. "So it is your choice, Private. You can step down right now, no judgment. You'll be given a honourable discharge and allowed to return home. We will vet the perfect candidate out of my army to take over the leadership. You could also renounce your citizenship, but I would hate to exile you, especially since I have no reason to do so."

"Or?"

"Or you can serve as the fifth female Warden Commander in Thedas history," he said, "and the first of Ferelden. You will have help, but it will not be easy. Whatever you choose, I will say it was my decree and no one will be able to speak against it."

"Can I think about it?" Ray asked.

"Not for long," he warned. "By the time we leave this room, it must be decided."

Ray cursed under her breath. 

"Okay," she whispered.

"Okay to what?"

"Okay, I'll do it," Ray said. "I'll be the Commander."

The King smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."

He stood. "Come on then, Commander. Let's go."

Ray followed him out of the room. 

"Private Ray Caron will be promoted to First Lieutenant of the Ferelden Wardens," King Alistair said. "Her municipal duties will be supervised by Seneschal Varel, who will be in communication with my office daily. As well, Mrs. Woolsey, you will still be in charge of trade and Captain Garavel will be managing the army of Amaranthine. You will consult Lieutenant Caron privately on all these matters. She is equal to any other Arl in this country and you must prepare her for royal life. If this is to work, you must do what you can to support her."

"This will not work," Captain Garevel argued. "We need to-"

"I am your King," he reminded, "and until recently the most senior Grey Warden in this country. You will follow my command. Lieutenant Caron is now your commanding officer. She deserves your respect and loyalty. If you cannot do that, you are dismissed from your duties."

When none of the advisors spoke further, King Alistair concluded, "I expect a report by the time I return to the Capitol. I must address the nation regarding these darkspawn attacks."

All four of them bowed as he left the hallway. 

Ray looked up nervously at the three who would decide her fate. 

Varel said, "Well, my Lady, we should get started then."


	4. Chapter Four

Nathaniel woke, hearing the boots on the stairs. He sat up, instinctively reaching for his knife, but it and the rest of his equipment were stored across the room. If he hadn't gotten the tar kicked out of him a few hours before hand, he would attempt to break the lock and let himself out. As it was, it was better for him to rest and see what happened next. 

He recognized the jailor who had thrown him in late last night and the Captain that had initially arrested him. There were two more with him now. The man must have been near fifty, but had a strong enough stance to him. He wore a Grey Warden's uniform, but had only the insignia of Amaranthine pinned on his breast, which meant he was probably a civilian. The woman beside him was taller than most men, though there was no mistaking her sex in her Grey Warden uniform, the long skirt tailored to reach just her ankles. The bulky jacket however gave him pause. Three silver medals. A female Lieutenant then, but this was not the woman he had seen on television. He suspected she was Orleasian until she spoke.

"I am told you are Nathaniel Howe," she stated.

He nodded.

"You have been arrested for one account breaking and entering, theft over five thousand dollars, three counts of manslaughter, battery, and an assassination attempt against my own person," she continued.

He said nothing and she responded, "As Arlessa of Amaranthine, I have the-"

Nathaniel stood and spat, "I don't know what our traitor king promised you, but Amaranthine belongs to the Howe blood line. I came to protect my ancestral home. If you need to kill me for that, then do it quickly."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Actually, there are only two living members of the Howe blood line. Your sister Delilah renounced your family name, abdicated, and married a lovely man in the city. They're expecting a child, actually. I also happen to know that you were expressly written out of your father's will and your name struck from his family tree, making you ineligible to inherit."

Nathaniel's breath hitched and she said, with a hint of pity, "You didn't know that last part, did you? I can see the confusion, Mr. Howe. We can drop the burglary and assault, but you did kill three of my men attempting to reach the Keep with the intention to kill me as well. You don't have to say anything else until your lawyer is here, but we do already have your recorded confession. In consultation with the lawyer on our retainer, you would be looking from anywhere to fifteen years to a life sentence in prison. I attempted to have you simply deported back to the Free Marches, but you never became a citizen there."

"Fine," Nathaniel muttered.

"I've come to offer you something different though."

The Captain and the civilian tried to interrupt but she put up her hand and glared at them both. She looked back to Nathaniel.

"Join the Wardens," she offered. "I know you must hate my Order because of what happened to your father, but I had no part in it. You legally cannot rule Amaranthine, but you can help protect it."

"He just tried to kill-"

"I'm very aware, Captain Garavel, of what he attempted to do. Grey Wardens take help where they can find it. He has skills and passion, those shouldn't be so easily thrown away."

The woman said to Nathaniel, "It is your choice, Mr. Howe. Live and you can see your sister again. You can serve your home."

"If I refuse, will you conscript me?" Nathaniel asked.

"No," she said.

He looked up at her, meeting her eyes intensely. She didn't falter.

"Then I accept," he said.

"We'll perform the ceremony tonight with the other two," she said to the civilian. "Please make sure that Mr. Howe has everything he needs and is given a place to sleep. I will return to my room for now."

She and the civilian left and Nathaniel stood back slightly, letting Garevel open the cell. He unlocked his shackles. Nathaniel left hesitantly and was guided back up the stairs. He blinked in the winter's sun and looked around the wreck of his family home. The darkspawn had not been kind. 

The courtyard was busier than he had expected. Builders were already at the walls, merchants already setting up their stalls. This Warden had been busy, or at least those serving her had been apt enough at their jobs

He guessed he would find out how much power this woman actually had soon enough.

***

Ray sat in front of the mirror, looking for any possible stray hair. The attendant had done the best they could, but Ray had spent the last year in the army. Her once long hair had been roughly chopped off and had never grown further than her chin. The attendant had cut her hair short, the bangs just to her ears. The rest was tapered, allowing it to lie nicely against her head. Her eyes were lined in black, the mascara thick. Ignoring the cuts and scrapes against her skin, she could have almost passed for any modern young lady wanting to dress her best. 

For the interview, Ray had been advised to wear a selected A-Line dress that fell just around her ankles. It was the same dark blue as her dress uniform and she wore the silver sash of it around her waist as a belt. Her silver kitten heels were too tight, but she would be luckily sitting down for the entire broadcast. 

Someone knocked and she said nervously, "Come in."

Varel entered, bowing his head slightly. "Are you ready, Arlessa?"

"No," Ray admitted, "but I will have to be anyways."

Varel offered his hand and she happily took it, shaky on her feet. He took her by the arm and walked her down the hallway.

"They'll take a few pictures of you on the throne," he explained. "You'll receive the laurel of Amaranthine and you'll hold the sword the Hero of Ferelden wore in defeating the Archdemon in your lap. The shield of Amaranthine will be at your feet."

"Did the reporter decide this or all of you?"

"I suggested the sword and shield," Varel admitted. "The press wants to show you as a princess, but I want them to remember you as a warrior."

Ray teased. "I thought I was just a dirty huntress from the sticks. Am I suddenly a princess?"

"You look like one," he said softly.

She tried not to blush as he continued, "I and Captain Garavel will be beside you during the question period. There will only be a few reporters who have been screened already, as this will be on live broadcast. This will happen just after the ceremony. There will be a prayer first and then I will direct questions. Answer all of them, do not make it look as if you are hiding anything. When in doubt, play the princess. It is better that they see you as an empty power for now rather than see you as the threat you are to them."

Ray took a deep breath and he whispered, "You will be fine, Arlessa. The King would not have chosen you if he did not think you could handle it."

Ray frowned, but said nothing. She had to focus on what happened next.

***

Nathaniel stood in his new uniform by the throne. His two fellow Wardens stood beside him. The dwarf and the mage were whispering conspiratorially, but had not spoken to him since his Joining the night before. The blonde mage had given him the occasional appraising glance, but Nathaniel ignored it. It was too dangerous to acknowledge the intent behind that look.

Two commentators were posted near the front, their radio equipment just outside of view of the cameras sweeping the scene. Nathaniel stood stiffly as he heard his name.

"-eldest son of the late Rendon Howe. Nathaniel Howe is now one of the three new Wardens serving underneath our new Arlessa. It's a savvy political move keeping the old blood line so close to the throne, but it will be interesting to see if the Banns will so easily bend the knee to our young Arlessa with him in the picture."

"Right you are, Don. It's an interesting selection, these first few candidates. While it is well known that the Grey Wardens have taken men from all walks of life, it is fascinating to see that we have here a dwarf veteran from the Orzammar Civil War and an apostate given leniency to serve as part of the Order. The question is if this is a statement of the strength of the Wardens' ability to go above the law or if the Wardens are truly so desperate for recruits."

"It might seem so, as it is peculiar to see the Wardens choose a young woman of child bearing age for this position. Do you think we will be seeing an alliance through marriage through the Grey Wardens and the nobility of Ferelden?"

"We do have to look at the possibility, but sources say the Arlessa is already nearly thirty so if it is going to happen, it's going to happen soon. And here we are, we have ourselves the first look at the new Arlessa. She's wearing a beautifully stunning gown and I must say, she looks just a picture. With that face, she could be a princess, I really do say so. What do you say, Don?"

"Ron, she is just lovely. That smile could light up this room. She looks nervous, but excited, like a girl walking up the aisle to her wedding. She's just coming up to the throne right now and kneeling before the Mother Superior. We're going to stay quiet for a little while now, folks, so we can hear the ceremony."

Nathaniel watched as Ray looked up at the priestess. She recited the oaths perfectly, but stilted, as if she had been only practicing in her head. The Mother blessed her and laid the same laurels his own father had once worn. Ray stood and the Mother said a brief prayer. 

Nathaniel applauded with everyone else, trying to keep his face neutral as Ray sat in the throne for the first time. Reporters took pictures as Varel handed her a sword and Captain Garevel laid the shield at her feet. 

Varel adjusted the microphone and said, "The Arlessa will allow for a few brief questions and kind remarks. Please raise your hand if-"

A din filled the room as reporters threw their hands up, asking things quickly and loudly. Ray blinked a few times as cameras flashed.

One finally was selected to speak. "Harold Feller, Denerim Sun. Congratulations Lady Arlessa on your new position. Can you tell us how you're feeling right now?"

"Stunned," she replied and many reporters laughed. "Truly, I feel so honoured to serve the people of Amaranthine. I am nervous, but I have many wonderful citizens who I am glad to have counsel of."

"Daniel Farmer, Amaranthine Tribute. Will you be planning on marrying soon? Is there a special someone in your life?"

"Those are two different questions," she said cheekily, causing more chuckles. "But right now, no. I just have to meet the right someone."

One of the radio announcers said to the other, "I don't think she'll have difficulty, folks. That is one beautiful woman. She's going to get proposals all over the country after tonight!"

"Braylen Gelden, Highever Times. Do you feel that you have the right constitution to be serving as both a Grey Warden and as Arlessa? It must be stressful as a lovely young lady like yourself, having no military experience or the same physical capabilities as those who serve with you."

Ray's eyes narrowed only slightly before she smiled. "I will serve as the Hero of Ferelden served before me for as long as I am called to do so. We all have different talents in the Wardens, we need not all be fighters."

Nathaniel smirked. He had seen the woman in the training room this morning. Fighting was her skill set. The woman was a brute. 

"But it is likely that the stress of serving as a soldier will make it unlikely for you to have children. Do the Grey Wardens not want you to produce an heir?"

Ray responded quickly, "The Maker will decide how many children are given to me, no other. Once I have a husband, then we will worry about it. Final question, please."

"Sam Ross, Amaranthine Herald. How does your mother feel about all this? This can't be the life she imagined for her sweet baby girl."

Ray said, grinning, "My mother is very proud of me. She's worried, but all mothers worry about their children. I'm sure she's listening to this on the radio in East Jader and telling everyone she knows that I'm her girl. Thank you everyone for coming this evening."

Ray picked up her skirts, handing her sword and shield to Captain Garevel. Mrs. Woolsey led her out of the room to get ready for the reception. The reporters were escorted out and the throne room cleared out.

The dwarf unbuttoned his jacket and headed towards the barracks. Nathaniel started to follow him, but froze slightly, feeling the hand brush against his. The blonde mage smiled at him. Once they made it into the hallway, he pulled Nathaniel to the side.

"Despite the fact we nearly died side by side last night, we were never properly introduced. My name is Anders," he said.

"Nathaniel. Is there something you wanted?"

"Well, Nathaniel," Anders said quietly, glancing around to make sure they were alone. "I was hoping you might want to skip the reception with me. Might be a good time, nice and quiet."

"I don't know what you want, but I'm not interested."

Nathaniel looked at the man's soft smile. If it hadn't been so long, he would have just pushed him aside and walked to the reception hall. But he was angry and lonely, and the man was just too pretty.

"Meet me in my room in five minutes if you decide you are," Anders said, pulling away. "It'll be more exciting than anything going on down here."

Nathaniel's resolve lasted about thirty seconds longer before he chased after him. The halls were nearly empty and no one noticed them go into Anders' room. Nathaniel locked the door behind them.

Suddenly Anders' mouth was on his. They scrambled with their clothes, only parting briefly for Anders to grab a condom. Anders rolled it on Nathaniel and lubricated it with a grease spell. Nathaniel pushed him on the bed and fingered him hard, Anders biting down on his other hand. The minute he thought he might fit, Nathaniel thrust into him, pulling Anders' legs around his waist. They switched positions quickly and Nathaniel sunk into him again from behind. Nathaniel dug his fingers into the bed as he pounded into him, grasping at the other man's cock and tugging hard. 

Anders threw his head back, moaning ever so softly, "Harder."

Nathaniel obliged, barely managing to get the man over the edge before hitting his own release. He plowed him through his own orgasm, feeling the man shake around him. Nathaniel pulled out and knotted the condom before tossing it in the trash. Anders lay on his back, panting. Nathaniel gave him a quick peck on the forehead.

"I needed that," Nathaniel murmured. "I'll see you downstairs. So we both know, this isn't...this was a one off thing. I think we both just needed to get off."

Anders chuckled, "Don't worry, Howe, your secret is safe with me. Go on then."

Nathaniel dressed quickly before running back to his own room to clean up. He spent a long time in the shower, thinking as the cool water streamed over him. He had been foolish. If he had gotten caught...

Nathaniel didn't speak to another soul at the reception, making his excuses the minute he could. He phoned his sister, even though it was late in the evening. They talked for a time before his heart slowed enough that he thought he might sleep.

When he did, he dreamed of his father kicking him in the ribs as the radio commentators narrated his attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone read this and immediately got the Hockey Night in Canada joke, I am so happy.


	5. Chapter Four

Ray had never been so relieved to hear that the ground had split open. Anything to get her away from that throne room. She wanted to burn the new dress that had been commissioned for her. In the end, she ended up shipping it to her mother, who she knew could alter it for herself. Mrs. Woolsey had not been impressed.

They travelled in the armoured van that had been left for them by their predecessors to the Knotwood Hills. Ray parked it at the end of the road and strapped her gear to her new uniform, one that fortunately had both pants and pockets. 

Her men assembled before her. She was anxious to see how the three of them would be in the field. Oghren had an impressive military record and she could almost stand him when he wasn't drinking. Anders was a bit flaky, but he seemed good-natured enough. Nathaniel...well, she wasn't sure if the man wouldn't try to kill her at some point, but she was willing to take a chance on him.

Ray led the team, her rifle close at hand. They came towards the dwarven ruins, seeing someone being pulled away by a hurlock. Ray shot through the creature's shoulder and raced down. The other three followed, Oghren cursing as he lifted his machine gun into the air.

The darkspawn scattered quickly and Ray helped the figure to their feet. They wore thick black leather and a mask, decorated with a shockingly detailed white skull. The dwarf lifted their mask, their face painted white.

"Thank you. I thought I was a goner. Name's Sigrun, Legion of the Dead."

"I didn't think they took girls into the Legion," Oghren chuckled, glancing up her form.

"I'm not a girl," Sigrun insisted. "Those in the Legion do not have genders any longer. We're not technically supposed to have names, but that just makes things confusing. So stop looking at my breasts." 

Ray shook her hand. "Warden Lieutenant Ray Caron. Do you have any information about the darkspawn activity in the area?"

"They took out my whole platoon," Sigrun replied. "I'm the last one standing. Listen, I know where they might be going. There's an old thiag a few miles underneath where we're standing now. You Wardens are supposed to know the Deep Roads inside and out. If you're looking to wipe them out, I'd be thrilled to join you."

"Come on then," Ray said. "Let's go."

***

Ray kicked the Disciple over, but it did in fact appear to be dead. Sigrun was over to the side, attempting to loot the massive golem. The men were racing ahead to deal with the broodmothers. Ray didn't want to look at them. She couldn't look at them.

Sigrun came back over, hauling the exterior shell of the creature. They tossed it at Ray's feet and looked up gleefully.

"Good haul!" Sigrun said. "All in all, a successful afternoon. I suppose it's time for me to get going though. You guys should have this, my armour will do well enough for the next couple of weeks or whenever the beasts get me."

Ray asked, "Would you consider becoming a Warden? It's pretty much the same deal, you just get to live longer and get more sunlight."

Sigrun frowned. "I made a vow."

"To kill as much darkspawn until you die," Ray said. "I've made very similar ones. You've got a lot of skill. I could definitely use your help."

"I have been running out of ammo," Sigrun admitted.

"Then come with me," Ray offered, sticking out her hand.

Sigrun hesitated and shook it. "You got a towel or something?"

Ray grabbed a spare undershirt from her bag and gave it to them. Sigrun took off their mask and wiped off the white paint, revealing their branded skin. 

"Thanks," they said. "It itches when it gets warm and if I'm not Legion anymore, really, then I might as well get the benefits. And...well...before I joined the Legion, I called myself a woman. Do you mind using "she" for me? I'm not really one, but it's good enough on the surface."

"Only if you want," Ray said.

Sigrun nodded. "I do."

They both turned, hearing a scream. They ran, only to see Anders hiding behind a pillar as Nathaniel and Oghren laughed. Ray rolled her eyes.

"Back to the Keep then if you're finished torturing my poor healer?" She asked.

Oghren turned to answer and froze, staring at the scar on Sigrun's cheek.

She growled, "You've got a problem, Red?"

"You know what it is, right?" Oghren asked, looking to Ray. "It's unclean. It's ancestors were criminals who carried disease. It'll stab you in the back the minute you turn away."

Sigrun replied, "Right, so that means you should stay away, Red, before I inflict you with whatever plague I'm carrying."

"I grew up a few miles from Orzammar," Ray said. "I've been around the casteless for my entire life. Sigrun is going to be one of us. I expect us to treat our brothers and sisters with the proper respect."

"I'm not saying I want the nugget gone," Oghren said, putting his hands up defensively. "I just mean that you're going to have a fun time explaining this to your bosses. But it's your choice."

"Let's just get out of here," Ray said tiredly. "There's a golem shell back in the last room. I need you to haul it back to the van. I'll be there in a minute."

They left her to look over the railing. The massacred broodmothers lay dead before her, their bloated, grotesque bodies growing pale in the light. She managed to pull away quickly enough to vomit on the ground. She shivered and wiped her mouth, rising slowly. She put the safety back on her rifle and followed the others back into the daylight.


	6. Chapter Five

Ray was once again in front of the mirror. The swearing of fealty ceremony was more important than the coronation to her. This was the moment she would find out if all of this would actually work. She had received a phone call from Stroud only minutes before. The sixth one in the last few days. After word of the King's intervention finally reached him, he was spitting mad about what exactly had transpired. While public opinion of the Wardens was much higher in Ferelden than it had been since the Blight, she was still a Lieutenant leading a motley crew against talking darkspawn. 

To be fair, just two so far, but that was in Stroud's eyes an entire horde. She didn't blame him, she was scared herself. But she could handle darkspawn. She was as skilled with a rifle as she was with a bow or a pistol or a sword. She had spent her entire adult life hunting creatures in the woods. 

She was much more afraid of politics.

She heard the familiar knock at the door and she sighed in relief, rising slowly. Ray smoothed out her skirts and patted her hair down before opening the door.

Varel stood on the other side in his dress uniform. He beamed at her. She grinned back nervously.

"Are you ready, my Lady?" He asked.

She took a deep breath. "As ready as I will be. You know you don't have to escort me, I imagine you must just think me a scared little girl."

"Everyone needs someone in their corner," he said kindly as they walked down the hall. "Besides, Mrs. Woolsey tells me that it is improper for a young noble woman to enter a room unattended."

"I kill monsters for a living and people are worried I'll trip the last few feet back to my throne?" She asked. "People are ridiculous."

"I agree," Varel said. "However, we must play their game for now. You have been their leader for only a few weeks. We still have to gain their confidence."

"And they feel so much better there's a big strong man secretly in the background planning everything? How comforting."

Varel squeezed her gloved hand. "You have always had my confidence, my Lady. But I am here for you, if you do ever need me."

Ray smiled, holding his hand just a moment too long before letting go. He went first into the throne room and announced, "Her Highness, Ray Caron, Lieutenant of the Grey Wardens and Arlessa of Amaranthine."

The room stood as she entered, smiling nervously. She glanced over to her squad, all four, including Sigrun, dressed in their finest uniforms. Sigrun was currently trying to shift her stockings as to not show the spreading tear in them. Anders stood slightly in front of her as to block her fidgeting out of view. All four of them gave her a quick thumbs up.

Ray sat on her throne and those in attendance returned to their seats. Varel stood to her side as each noble arrived, kneeling in order to swear their undying loyalty. 

The last came forward, a woman in her forties with a distinct sneer.

"Bann Esmerelle Helena of the City of Amaranthine," Varel announced.

Esmerelle knelt before her. "I swear my loyalty to Arlessa Ray Caron of the Grey Wardens. Let her reign be long and fruitful. I swear loyalty to her heirs and promise to serve them as faithfully as I have the Arlessa."

She kissed Ray's hand and stood. Ray smiled at her as she left. 

"We shall conclude the ceremony at this time. The Lady Arlessa would invite you all for tea and refreshments in the feast hall." Varel announced.

The nobility and their attendants left for the reception. Ray finally stood and Nathaniel went immediately to her side.

"What is it?" Ray asked quietly.

"You cannot trust that woman," Nathaniel whispered. "She was involved with my father. She will not serve you so easily."

"Involved, like...oh, I see."

"She is a woman who will do what she needs to in order to keep her power," Nathaniel warned. "If she is not planning to destroy you now, she will be soon."

"What would you have me do?" Ray asked.

"Act natural," Nathaniel said. "Avoid her company for now, focus on the others. Let me handle her."

Ray looked at him fearfully and he grumbled, "I won't kill her. I'm just going to find out what she's thinking. I'm not her favourite man in the world, but I would guess she would prefer me on the throne over you."

"Why are you helping me?" Ray asked.

"I will not let her have Amaranthine," Nathaniel promised. "No matter my feelings towards the Grey Wardens. I have sworn loyalty to you."

"So did she," Ray reminded.

To her surprise, Nathaniel smiled. "I would not have given my word to you unless I meant it. I am many things, your highness, but I am no liar."

"Be careful," Ray said quietly. 

He nodded to her before leaving with the others for the reception. Ray turned to Varel, who waited for her a few feet away. 

"You've done well," he reassured. 

"We'll see," she sighed.

"You've converted the man who would kill you to serve you faithfully. That is an impressive thing by itself. Also, no one has been poisoned yet, so this has been more successful than most Orleasian fealty ceremonies."

"There's not going to be dancing, is there?" She asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Varel warned. "I know of at least three young lords who hope to steal you away tonight. You have to be careful when you choose your match, though I am told by Commander Stroud that he would prefer the final decision."

"Who would he have me marry?" Ray asked.

"I believe the current Teryn of Highever, the recently widowed Fergus Cousland. He's your age and I'm told quite handsome. I knew his father, and he was a good man. His mother was wild, but very fun."

"And then I would go live in Highever and the Wardens would slide someone else into my place?" Ray asked skeptically. "Who? Nathaniel? Oghren?"

"There are...negotiations happening regarding the treaty," Varel admitted. "Stroud asked me not to tell you, but you should know the truth. It might be best for your future to marry well while you can."

"I'm not abandoning my post," Ray promised.

"I said the same thing to Arl Howe and I spent the next six months rotting in a cell," Varel said. "We don't always get to make those decisions for ourselves. Come now, your Highness. You should make an appearance."

Varel held his arm out for her but she stormed off, walking into the reception hall alone. She went straight to the refreshments and joined Sigrun for a glass of wine. 

***

Nathaniel studied the crowd, noting mentally who Esmerelle talked to, every sly smile she made. He stood apart, attempting to stay in the shadows. Unfortunately, Anders still found him. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" 

Nathaniel insisted, "Anders, not now. It's not a good time."

"Why? The last party was a good time," he teased. "Or maybe you didn't enjoy yourself? Just, you haven't really talked to me since then, and we do have to serve together, so if there's something-"

"Anders," Nathaniel said, holding him at arms' length. "I will talk to you later, I promise, but I'm working right now. Please go away."

Anders shot him a dirty look before leaving. He made his way to a table of young ladies and gave his famous, heart-melting smile. Nathaniel tried not to glare at him and turned his gaze back to Esmerelle. To his horror, she was walking towards him.

"Master Howe," she greeted, kissing him on both cheeks. "It is so good to see you. You know, you're the spitting image of your father at this age, you really are. How are you finding Ferelden after so much time abroad?"

"It is good to be home," he said civilly.

"I imagine so. I never thought you would return. Such a shame about Rendon, and Thomas, of course. I've heard Delilah has moved in a dock worker? Some labourer. The Howes have fallen on hard time. If there is anything I can do, let me know, of course."

He shuddered as she touched his arm. "You do yourself no favours, Nathaniel. Following that little vixen when you are the one who should wear that crown."

"You seemed to think I didn't deserve it ten years ago."

"I'm sure you have worked your lusts out of your system," she said coolly. "It is better that a degenerate Howe sits on the throne than a common whore."

"You speak of the Arlessa of Amaranthine," Nathaniel spat. "You will think before you speak of her again."

He stormed out of the hall and towards the living quarters. He locked himself in his room and tossed his uniform on the ground. He dressed in his bathrobe and grabbed the bottle of gin hidden underneath his bed. He heard the knock and he was half tempted to throw the bottle against the door. Instead, he rose and opened it.

Anders walked in. "I'm sorry, I know I should leave you be, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Nathaniel locked the door and pushed Anders against the wall. He unzipped the mage's pants and took his soft cock into his mouth. Anders groaned, grasping at his hair. He grew hard in his mouth and Nathaniel sucked harder, grabbing his hips. 

"If this is your way of avoiding talking, I can handle it," Anders groaned.

Anders bucked forward, his knees shaking. Nathaniel reached between his own legs and stroked himself quickly. Anders moaned out and thrust forward desperately. He gasped as he came, thrusting into Nathaniel's mouth. He swallowed and rose to his feet. 

"Please don't tell me to go," Anders pleaded. "Let me take care of you."

Nathaniel said nothing. Anders kissed him softly and stroked him through his bathrobe. Nathaniel kissed him back tenderly as Anders rubbed him. He grinded into him, feeling the soft ring velvet of his uniform against his skin. He grew close and gripped into Anders. 

"I don't want to ruin your clothes," Nathaniel groaned.

Anders let go and kneeled before him. He took him into his mouth, sucking hard and deep. Nathaniel thrust into him desperately, finally finishing in the mage's throat. Nathaniel cried out, bucking still into him as he grew soft. He felt Anders swallow down around him and he shivered as he withdrew.

Anders stood up and Nathaniel held him, kissing him softly.

"I like you," Nathaniel admitted, "but...you know it's not safe, not to be so open about all of this. Especially not here."

"Then we'll keep it quiet," Anders promised. "But you know there's something here."

Nathaniel said, "There's something I need to care of first."

Anders asked in confusion, "You don't have someone else you need to break up with first, do you?"

Nathaniel shook his head. "I need to talk to our C.O. There's something she needs to know."


	7. Chapter Six

**NB: While we're not actually seeing any homophobic violence in this section, Nathaniel is about to reveal something awful that happened to him in the past. Just so you know when that section is over, look for the first "***"**

Ray sat at her desk, watching Nathaniel pace back in forth in front of her.

"Whatever it is, Private, you can tell me."

Nathaniel laughed darkly, "No, I can't. This goes against every instinct I have for survival. But you're going to find out. If not by Bann Esmerelle, then someone else. The woman will use whatever ammunition she has, including blackmail. Especially blackmail."

"I take care of my men," Ray promised. "The Grey Wardens accept men whatever crimes they committed before they joined the ranks."

"What about the crimes they committed after?"

Ray took a deep breath. "If you're in trouble, Nathaniel, just tell me."

Nathaniel finally stopped walking. He closed his eyes and said slowly, "My father was not a good man."

"I think most of Ferelden can agree with that," Ray said.

Nathaniel shook his head. "Before the war. He was not a good father. You know that I was in the Free Marches. I didn't go on my own. I was sent there."

Ray frowned. "For what reason?"

"When I was 20 years old, I was engaged to the youngest Cousland girl," Nathaniel explained. "It was arranged, but she was sweet, soft. She was 16 then, so we had to wait until she came of age. My father was very happy about the arrangement. He had his eye on Highever, as you know. I didn't love her, but I thought I could learn to when she was older. But during that time, I fell in love with someone else."

"And your father didn't approve of her?"

"Of him."

Nathaniel turned and Ray met his glance. She nodded. "Go on."

"I have always been interested in both men and women," Nathaniel said quietly. "I thought once I got married and dedicated myself to a woman, I would be in the clear. It wouldn't have mattered to my father, no matter who I wanted to break the engagement off for. But the fact it was an elf, a male elf...my father found us. We tried to be so careful, but we had fallen asleep in each other's arms. My father sentenced my love and I to ten years in prison. I begged him to reconsider. So he agreed to release me if I agreed to the marriage, with the understanding that Talian would be freed when I finally wed Lady Cousland four years later."

"But you didn't marry her?" 

"No," Nathaniel said. "Once I was free, I broke him out of prison. I gave him every coin I had and begged him to leave for the South. He wouldn't go without me, so I told him I would say goodbye to my brother and sister and meet him at a hotel in the city. But it...my father had me followed. I didn't know."

Ray rose, seeing that he was crying. She placed her hand on his arm.

"Bann Esmerelle arrested both of us. She had me beaten to a pulp and left me to rot in a cell. She sent Talian to be sentenced at Fort Drakon. King Maric was a good man, they said, but he hung Talian without even a trial. My father found me, nearly killed me himself...but then he let me go. I would have no claim to the Howe title; he didn't even want me using his last name. He exiled me to the Free Marches and told me never to come home."

"Nate...I'm so sorry," Ray whispered.

Nathaniel took a deep breath and did not resist as she held him.

"I've made a mistake," he whispered. "I lost my temper with her. She knows this about me. She'll try to destroy you and I've given her more fuel for the fire."

"I will not let her hurt you," Ray promised.

"It's still punishable by ten years in Ferelden," Nathaniel said. "And I..."

"You've met someone," Ray finished. "It's Anders, isn't it?"

He nodded. "I've put both of you in danger."

"I'll take care of it," Ray swore. "I will find a way to protect you and the rest of my men today."

"I'm so sorry," Nathaniel said quietly. "You've been better to me than I have to you."

"Can I ask...why were you were willing to kill me to avenge your father even after all that?"

Nathaniel said, "I thought that was what a son should do. I think I wanted there to be peace between us, now that he is gone. But I was angry and alone. I've talked to my sister a lot since I've been home. I've found some peace in that, at least."

She clapped him on the back. "I will take of it, Nathaniel. I want you to get your mind off things. Go spar with Sigrun. Your sword skills are much to be desired and if we run out of bullets again, I want you to be able to protect yourself."

"Yes, Ma'am," he said, nodding.

Ray leaned against her desk as he left, sighing. She meant every word she had said, but she needed to strategize how exactly she was going to pull it off. It was time to find Varel.

*******

All five Wardens stood at attention as Commander Stroud and Captain Blackwall reached the gates of Vigil's Keep. Ray went first, her little heels digging into the mud. She stuck out her hand but Stroud did not shake it, going straight into the Keep. Blackwall held her at arm's length, smiling sadly.

"It is good to see you, Lieutenant," he greeted. "I'm sorry I could not be here sooner. I was up in the mountains, I didn't know...I am so sorry."

"It's okay," Ray reassured. "Come on inside. We've got a lot to talk about."

***

The four of them sat at the table, Stroud and Ray on opposite sides, glaring at the other. Varel poured all four of them a glass of wine before sitting back down.

"I've met with King Alistair," Stroud said. "I can't say I like him interfering with the Wardens so much. It was not his decision to put you in charge. While the first 33 days have gone with little trouble, it will not stay like this. I've read your reports of the two talking darkspawn you have encountered."

"Yes," Ray said. "I'm planning an expedition tomorrow into the city. There have been some sightings in the area, I want to examine the exact locations."

"Yes, with your little team I imagine. We'll have recruits at your disposal shortly, but I am not sure you are up for supervising more than the handful you have currently. One of our men is still unaccounted for, but apparently was sighted a few days ago in Amaranthine at a local bar. I would like you to investigate this quietly. Kristoff LeSul was not always the most devout to the cause, but he is no deserter."

"I will do it myself," Ray promised.

"Good," Stroud said. "I have continued our negotiations with the King."

"And?" Ray asked.

"Pending your findings in the next few days, we will decide the best course of action. You have become a public face, so we can't just easily move you now. Most likely, we will arrange for your marriage and while you will technically be the ruler of Amaranthine, a Grey Warden attendant will run the Estate in your name."

"And you expect me to just agree to that?" Ray asked skeptically.

"The Lieutenant is not a piece of chattel, Henri," Blackwall argued. "We can't just sell her off to the highest bidder. The King of Ferelden-"

"Is no longer a Grey Warden," Stroud interrupted. "Our duty is to maintain a strong presence here in Ferelden in spite of the limitations of this treaty. King Alistair has crippled us by placing an inexperienced little girl in charge of a unit that is on the verge of collapse. If our presence here fails again, we will not be able to work freely in this country. This is more important than maintaining appearances."

Ray stood. "When Vigil's Keep was under attack, I could have run. But I came here on my own. I killed the first Disciple on my own. With two other people, I cleared out the entire Keep of darkspawn. I have found four people to sacrifice their lives to defend this country from the Blight. Four Fereldeners. I have quadrupled your numbers on my own. I have arranged contractors to work for next to nothing to fix our castle. I have had ever noble in my territory bend the knee and swear loyalty to our Order. The King didn't tell me to become the Commander, he asked me if I could do it and I said I could. I promised my King and I will not break that promise to him. You are not my superior, Stroud. My rank may be technically lower than yours, but I am the head of this Order in this country. You are here as my equal, not as my Lord."

Stroud growled, "You were chosen by a civilian, not-"

"I was chosen by a Hero of the Blight," Ray snapped. "If you have a problem with my posting, the First Warden can settle it. Until then, I am in charge of Amaranthine. Do you understand me?"

"You insolent little bitch," Stroud said, rising. "Do you think you earned this position? Maybe you sang the King a little tune, did you? It wouldn't be the first time a pretty little thing convinced him that she deserved something she didn't."

Varel said firmly, "My Lord, I suggest you speak with more respect to my mistress before I have you escorted from the castle."

"Fine," Stroud said. "This meeting is over."

"Not yet," Ray said. "I am making an announcement tomorrow in this territory regarding Warden amnesty from past crimes."

"I see your little crew is even worse than I thought," Stroud laughed. "Have they been stealing chickens? Kicking puppy dogs?"

"I am announcing that all Wardens actively serving in the Order in Ferelden will be protected from persecution based on their race, sexual orientation, and gender." 

"What?" Stroud asked.

Ray explained, "Any Ferelden Warden will not be persecuted for homosexual acts. Starting tomorrow. Any who join will be given amnesty for past and future relations, as well as relations between men and women of different races. Mixed-race marriages will be recognized as valid and binding as same-race ones. My women will have the same rights as any of my men and any man threatening their physical well being will be immediately cast from the order and given to lay authorities. We are also getting rid of the female uniforms as no one can fight in that ridiculous pencil skirt."

Stroud stood dumbfounded. 

Blackwall said, "Sister, this is ambitious, but...the public will never have it."

"It won't be law in Amaranthine, that would have to be voted on," Ray said. "However, I did have an unanimous vote from the only five Wardens serving in Ferelden and Varel was able to sign as a representative of the First Warden. So the public will have little say about it."

"You will never get away with this, either of you," Stroud said. "The First Warden will never allow you to stay in power after this."

"Just watch me." Ray grinned. "Gentlemen, please enjoy your accommodations. I believe I will make my journey into the city a little sooner than I planned. Have a pleasant stay at the Keep."

Ray walked out with head held high, trying to ignore that the heel on her shoe chose that moment to snap in half.


	8. Chapter Seven (Part One)

"That was Arlessa Ray Caron announcing her new equity practices for the Grey Wardens serving in Ferelden. As a reminder to our listeners at home, this refers only to the organization and not the wider Amaranthine riding. Don, what do you make of it?"

"Well Ron, I have to say I always believed that the nobility had no place in the bedrooms of the common people, you know? Folks shouldn't be going to jail for this nonsense. And the stuff about marriage equality, that's the same all through the South provinces, no fuss there. You know my sister married a nice dwarf. Hi Bill!"

"Bill makes the best homebrew you've ever had, listeners. Right, so the decision has been generally well received in a lot of the rural areas, but there's been some unrest in the Greater Amaranthine area where there's still a large Orleasian population. A lot of people calling for our little Arlessa to resign. Rumours are going around the bend about her character." 

"Ron, I've talked to the lady myself a few times. Fine, upstanding young player in politics. I don't care if she grows three more eyes and a new arm. I like her. We've needed a shake up. I hope she makes some real changes in Amaranthine. I say it now, there's going to be a lot of little girls named Ray this year."

"Don, you sound half in love with her yourself."

"What can I say? I like a girl who speaks her mind. Hey, if she's ever looking, I'm-"

Ray shut off the radio, ignoring the four others howling in the back of the van.

"It's not funny," she grumbled.

"Hey, you should take it," Anders said. "There's going to be a lot of unhappy people in the city when we get there."

"I don't care," Ray said.

"Clearly you do," Sigrun called out.

"I think our boss' badassery is running out," Oghren chimed in. "She's going to start getting mushy on us. Boo hoo, the nobles hate me, I'll never find true love."

"Shut up, Red," Ray said. "Look, when we get to Amaranthine, we're splitting up. Oghren, you go look for any drunken sad sap wanting to trade monster stories. Sigrun, you get around the merchants, see if you can hear about any smuggling routes shifting. We need to see if there are any trouble spots on the road. Anders, you're going to be heading to the Chantry to check in on the refugee situation. And for the Maker's sake, please keep your ID on you so a CBI agent doesn't pick you up. Nathaniel's going to check in with the local police while I look for Warden Kristoff. Everyone has enough batteries for their two way radios?"

Static and feedback filled the van as the Wardens checked. Ray grimaced.

"Good. We'll meet back at 1600. The usual codes are a go."

"Boss, what if the van is toast again?" Sigrun asked.

"We're probably not going to be near any Dalish separatists again, but in case, bring your gear with you. And I guess we'll just buy another van. Again."

Ray parked near the edge of town. Her Wardens got out in their civilian clothes, all with their ID and weapons concealed just under their jackets. Sigrun had donned male apparel today and was quite pleased to have pockets again. Ray wore one of her older dresses, but with much more sensible shoes. Her gun and knife were strapped to her legs under her skirts. 

"Get to it then, Privates," she ordered.

***

Nathaniel was not thrilled to be assigned to talk with the local police as since childhood he was more than a little afraid of them. With a quick flash of his badge, however, he was welcomed into the station. 

Nathaniel was gestured towards an office at the back of the room. He entered, closing the door behind him.

"Chief James Harrison," he greeted. "Please, have a seat."

Nathaniel sat across from him.

"Private Howe, I have to say, I'm impressed by your C.O. I've been trying to pass the same equity practices here on site for nearly two years. Not a lot of people are going to be so happy about it, but screw 'em. All this stuff was legal a hundred years ago anyways in Ferelden, so the less Orleasian we are, the happier I am. Now, you're here about the darkspawn sightings?"

Nathaniel said in surprise, "Yes. Lieutenant Caron said you had some reports?"

"A few photographs from local amateur journalists, but nothing much. I've circled the locations of the sightings on a map for you here. The city itself here is pretty sturdy and we've still got supplies from the Blight. I'm hesitant about using the silverite powder though. I saw what it did in the South to the trees. Nasty business."

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Nathaniel reassured. "The Wardens have this situation under control."

"Maker, I hope so....wait, you're a Howe, aren't you? I can tell by the nose. I know your brother in law Albert. Good man. You tell him and the missus I said hello, right?"

"I promise," Nathaniel said, taking the files. 

They shook hands and Nathaniel left his office. He ignored the few stares he got on his way out of the station. As much as he had been afraid of police officers as a civilian, apparently Grey Wardens were much more frightening.

Since it was a nice afternoon, he walked over to Delilah's apartment building. He let himself in through the back and climbed up the stairs. She excitedly let him in, kissing his cheeks.

"I'm glad you finally made it!" She said cheerfully. Her pink shift dress barely covered her baby bump and ended abruptly at the top of her thighs. While the current fashion wasn't to Nathaniel's taste, if she was comfortable right now, he was happy. 

"You're as big as a house!" He laughed.

"I know," she grumbled, coming to sit on the couch. "Doctor says maybe another month, but Nate, I can't do another month like this. I'm always hot and sore. All my girlfriends are staying home too because they're all scared of darkspawn. And Albert is working nights lately, so we'll be quiet while he's sleeping. He'll be sorry he missed you."

"Let me take care of you," Nathaniel said. "I've got a few hours before I'm meeting up with my team. What do you need? Dishes? A few meals for the freezer?"

"You're a lifesaver, Nate," she groaned, lying down on the couch. He placed a pillow under her head and another under her feet. He smiled affectionately before going into the kitchen.

***

Oghren only made it a few feet into the city before finding a sports bar. A few drinks and he was deep in conversation with a pair of casteless brothers who had seen some pretty deep shit on their way into town. Between that and several daring stunts of strength, he had every patron in that bar eating out of his hands.

Unfortunately, he forgot to write anything down.

***

Sigrun saw her first in the crowds a few feet away. She was hesitant, but she knew she would regret it if she didn't say something.

"Mischa!" Sigrun called.

The red headed dwarf turned to face her. Mischa stormed over and threw a punch at her. Sigrun caught her arm and held her back.

"You little-" Mischa spat. "You should get away from me before I kill you, you ruined my life, you little-"

Sigrun let got of her arms.

"I can explain everything," Sigrun said. "Is there somewhere we can go-"

"Talk? Talk?!" Mischa screamed. "I nearly died because of you. You know that!"

"Please," Sigrun insisted. "Just...please."

Mischa gestured her to follow her. The pair entered her store and Mischa locked the door behind them. The perfume lingered in the air of the shop. Sigrun looked around in amazement at the fine jewelry and delicate bottles of fragrance.

"If you want to talk, talk," Mischa said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I'm so glad you're alive," Sigrun said, smiling. "I really thought...I thought I'd go to my death without seeing you ever again."

"You have one minute," Mischa barked.

"My boss, Beraht, he found out about you. He told me that he didn't have a place for women who had priorities outside the Carta. He had a plan for me to show my loyalty to him. He had stolen that little gold Paragon himself and he told me that I had to hide it in your store or he would kill me."

"So you sold me out to save your own skill," Mischa said. "I should have guessed that. I don't know why you expect me to forgive you."

"I told him to go back to the Stone," Sigrun admitted. "Then he threatened to kill you. He told me exactly how he was going to do it and he said he would make me watch before he killed me too."

Mischa's face softened as she continued, "So I planted it and I spent every last coin I had bribing the right people so you wouldn't be executed, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. Then I joined the Legion, because I wanted to be better. You always thought I was more than a little street thug. I wanted to show you that you were right, even if it was too late."

Sigrun slowly walked towards her. "If I thought I had a chance to save you any other way, I would have done it. I am so sorry."

"But you're not part of the Legion now?" Mischa said skeptically. "I thought that was a forever and always group."

"I'm a Grey Warden now," Sigrun said, showing off her badge. 

Mischa held it in her hands. "This doesn't make this right, Sigrun, not even close."

"I make ten sovereigns a month as a Warden," Sigrun said. "Let me send you half. It won't make up for it, but I can take care of you, like you used to take care of me. I would have died on the streets if it wasn't for you, Mischa. Please."

Mischa said, "I think you should go, Sigrun."

Sigrun took out her wallet and counted out a hundred dollars. She placed it in Mischa's hands and walked out the door.

Mischa ran after her into the streets. "Sigrun!"

She turned around and Mischa embraced her closely. Sigrun curled into her body, closing her eyes. Mischa put the money back into Sigrun's pocket, shaking her head. When they parted, Sigrun smiled.

"At least let me buy you lunch," she said. 

Mischa smiled nervously and nodded. 

The two dwarves walked down the street together until they spotted a Tevinter fusion restaurant. 

Sigrun squeaked out in delight and pulled her inside. "I've always wanted to try pizza!"

***

Anders lasted almost exactly two minutes and fifteen seconds in the Chantry before seeing a CBI agent and running out the door. He reminded himself that it was perfectly legal for him to be in there, but the memories were too strong. 

Eventually, he forced himself back in, even if just to get a head count on those temporarily living in the Chantry. Really, it wasn't that bad. Maybe a few families, but according to a Sister, most of them had been resettled fairly quickly. 

During the conversation, he could still feel the eyes of a CBI agent on him. He left as discretely as he could and radioed Nathaniel, who quickly gave him his sister's address. 

Nathaniel let him into the apartment building and Anders hugged him tightly. Nathaniel brought him upstairs and into the tiny apartment. Delilah was excited to meet him and they spent the afternoon drinking coffee and talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants to share headcanons about Ferelden vs Orlais in terms of sexual mores? No? Just me?


	9. Chapter Seven (Part Two)

Ray entered the Crown Royale hotel with a false confident smile. She made her way up to the front desk, holding onto her purse for comfort.

"Hi," she said cheerfully to the receptionist, "I'm looking for my future brother in law Kristoff LeSul. This is really silly, but he came here a few days ago for a stag party and he hasn't come home. I've told his fiancée, my little sister, he probably flew the coop so I'm trying to track him down to drag him home. He's about six feet, thick Orleasian accent and going to be dead as a doornail when I find him."

The receptionist chuckled. Ray looked at her nametag: Sorcha.

"I actually remember him," Sorcha said. "You're not going to like it though. Between you and me, he was staying here for weeks. He actually ditched about two days ago, didn't pay his bills or anything, we just had his charge card so we fixed it. We've still got all of his stuff, so my boss has been charging his card for the room until Mr. LeSul comes back and picks up his garbage."

Ray sighed dramatically, "I always told her, men like that, so much less interested once they get what they want before the wedding. I bet he spent half the time in the bar looking for his next fling, am I right?"

Sorcha leaned in conspiratorially. "He actually made a pass at me the night before he left. Do you believe the nerve? I'm so glad I didn't take him up on it."

"Do you mind if I look through his room? He might have left a note or something for poor Sylvie. I hate to go home empty handed. She's devastated."

"I shouldn't, but I have a little sister too," Sorcha confided. "Of course. There's not a lot up there, but if you want to toss it out, we can stop charging the card."

"Thank you," Ray said with a grin. "You're a darling."

Sorcha handed her a metal key. "203. Second floor, second door on the right. Let me know how it goes, right?"

Ray winked and headed up the stairs. She unlocked the room and went inside, glancing around. She locked the door behind her. 

The bed was made and the television was left off. The bathroom seemed as clean as if the maid had already seen to it. On the desk lay an assortment of newspaper clippings, a wedding ring, two letters, and a notepad beside the phone. His duffel bag was on the ground nearby, stuffed with dirty clothes.

Ray went to the desk first. The newspaper clippings seemed random, but she folded them gently and put them in her purse. She picked up the wedding ring in amusement.

"I was kidding about ditching someone at the altar, but apparently I wasn't far off," Ray chuckled to herself.

She put the ring in her purse and picked up the two letters. One was addressed to Commander Stroud, the second to a woman named Aura. She left the latter untampered in her purse but opened the first, glad it had never been sealed.

_Henri,_

_In the light of all I have seen in Ferelden, I cannot stay in Amaranthine. There is an evil in the Blackmarsh that I will no longer ignore. I know that you have ordered me to drop this investigation, but I can no longer obey your commands._

_I know that I should have reported to my new Commander, but I cannot risk it. If your suspicions are correct about her character, then I know I can only trust in my own heart._

_In case something happens to me, please send this letter to my wife with my wedding band. Please tell her that I am so sorry. Even if I survive what happens next, I cannot come home again._

_Sincerely,  
Kristoff_

Ray reread the letter and put it in her purse. She then kneeled beside the duffel bag and started to look through it. As she first suspected, it was almost entirely dirty clothes. She recognized some of the t-shirts as standard issue undershirts. Most of his clothes had dried blood on them. At the very bottom of the bag, she found a wallet.

She opened it and looked for clues. There was a driver's license and a Warden health card. A few photos of a lovely blonde woman. A library card to the Public Library of Val Royeaux. But nothing helpful besides twenty bucks. She took out the bills and paused, seeing something scrawled above King Cailan's head. She held it out to the light and recognized the phrase. In Orleasian: "mon mort n'est fini". Translated literally, "My death is not over." There was a nuance to it though and she understood the expression: "my suffering continues."

She stowed the rest of her things away and picked up the duffel bag. She dropped off the key to Sorcha, shrugging. Ray headed back to the van, which was luckily untouched. She loaded it up with findings and checked her watch. She still had about thirty minutes before her team would show up. Feeling a little like a mother leaving her child home for the first time, she found a pay phone a little further down the street and phoned back to the Keep. She waited impatiently for the call to go through.

"Seneschal Varel McGowan's office."

"Hi, it's me."

She could practically feel him smiling through the phone. "My Lady. Is everything well? It has been a quiet day without you and the other Wardens running underfoot."

"And our two guests?" Ray asked.

"Stroud is utterly bored as there is nothing to complain about," Varel teased. "Blackwall has been actually very pleasant company. He's heading back to Orlais this evening, he hopes to catch you before he goes. Over all, it has been a peaceful day. There are a dozen reports to talk about when you get back. The Dalish Separatists have become much more difficult for the merchants to handle. It might be worthwhile looking into while you're down there."

"I've sent Sigrun to chat people up, but I don't think-"

Ray felt a gun press into her ribcage and she froze.

"Arlessa...Ray, are you okay?" 

"Varel," she said slowly, "I'm going to have to go. I'll talk to you when I get back tonight. Just running out of coppers. Bye."

Ray hung up the phone slowly, putting her hands up. The assailant snatched her purse and ran off. Ray immediately grabbed her pistol and chased after them. Once she got a good shot, she stopped and fired through the man's shoulder. He fell and she jogged over, grabbing her bag. She put the gun against his temple.

"Please, miss, I was just trying to make a few silvers, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Ray asked, "Do you know who I am?"

"No, ma'am, I was told to watch for a woman who looked like you at the Crown Royal. I was supposed to make sure you didn't take anything and make it look like a mugging. That is what I do, after all. I mean. Don't normally."

"Who told you to come after me?" She asked. 

"His name was DeSul. He paid me a hundred dollars. He left two nights ago, I've been waiting since. Please, ma'am, have mercy."

She clicked the safety on and put her pistol away. She offered her hand to the thief and helped him out of the mud.

"Give me your gun," she ordered.

He offered his handgun and she took out the cartridge. She put the weapon and ammo in her purse. He tried to protest but she just raised an eyebrow before walking away.

Ray tuned in her radio. "Children, it's time to go. I want you all back at the van in fifteen minutes or sooner."

Ray went back to the parking lot and sat in the front passenger seat, trying to calm herself. She heard a knock at the window and saw Oghren standing outside, giggling. She let him in and he crawled into the back and immediately fell asleep. She was oddly comforted by this. 

Nathaniel and Anders arrived not long later, bringing plastic containers full of goodies for them on the way home. Finally Sigrun arrived, a redheaded dwarven woman walking beside her. They held hands a few feet from the van, oblivious to the fact that they were watched. Sigrun blushed and they parted. Sigrun climbed into the van, her cheeks still quite pink.

"I need one of you to drive," Ray said. "Obviously not Oghren."

"I don't have my license," Sigrun apologized.

Anders said, "I don't either."

"Fine," Ray growled. "Howe, get in front."

"You okay, Boss?" Anders asked. 

"Well," she vented. "I was just mugged by a guy who turns out to be sent by the Grey Warden that's supposed to be Stroud's cure for everything. So great. Just great. Anyone else do anything productive?"

"I reconnected with an old friend," Sigrun said cheerfully. "She's going to come visit us at the Keep next week, hopefully. Or I'll come here, I don't know."

"Aw," Anders said happily. "Sigrun's got herself a girlfriend!"

"No!" Sigrun denied, blushing deeper. "Just an old friend. We patched things up."

"Well," Anders said, "I met Nathaniel's sister. She wants me there when his nephew is born. Isn't that exciting?"

"She said she _wouldn't mind_ having you there. That's different," Nathaniel said, starting the car.

"I won six arm wrestling contests in a row. Lost one. Then won ten," Oghren chimed in sleepily. "Are we there yet?"

"Maker," Ray grumbled, "I need a drink."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered that I used dollars in "Satisfaction", so I have the adjusted figures here. A lot of people still use archaic terms to refer to new dollar amounts (looking at you, UK), so here's how I have it in my head:
> 
> Copper: a penny  
> Silver: a dollar  
> Sovereign: a hundred dollars


	10. Chapter Eight

It was near 1900 when they finally arrived back at the Keep. Nathaniel dropped off the van at the livery and had kindly offered to bring Kristoff's abandoned dirty clothes to the laundries. The other three scampered off to dinner, leaving Ray to walk back to her rooms alone. She stank from stress and wanted to wash before she ate with everyone else.

Ray showered and dressed in a white blouse embroidered with yellow daisies and red roses. Her mother had made it for her years ago. She had been lucky enough for it to be in her bag when she got stuck on the wrong side of the border. And luckier still for it to have survived the year in the Warden camp. She slipped on a pair of pale jeans and comfortable shoes. She fixed her hair in the mirror and headed down to the mess hall.

There were still a dozen people or so left having dinner. While she was royalty, it was tradition for Wardens to eat in the same place as those who served them. All were equal in the Order and all deserved enough to eat. Ray received her plate from the serving window and sat down with one of the tailors, Wade, who was currently very unhappy with his partner for forcing him to switch to silver thread.

After her meal, Ray went to the kitchen and washed her own dishes beside the kitchen help. She went to her office and grabbed the collected reports from their day in Amaranthine. She walked to Varel's office, not surprised to see him eating while working. She knocked lightly on the door.

"Please, my Lady," he said, standing. "Come in."

"Sorry, I can come back."

He shook his head. "Please. You can keep me company. My typewriter keeps dying on me and it's taken me hours to fix so I'm behind on paperwork. I think it's scared of Stroud. You missed him, by the way. He decided to take a plane back to West Jader. Something more exciting, I guess."

Varel apologized, "I forgot, your family is from there. I'm sure everything is fine."

"I'm sure he just remembered he had someone else to yell at," Ray teased. "And Blackwall? Off to the forests to frolic among the bears again?"

"From what I've heard about you, you're not one to talk," Varel said. "Your mother said you raised a wolf pup when you were a teenager, after all."

"You talked to my mother?" Ray asked, embarrassed.

"She keeps phoning me," Varel said. "I explain that you're very busy, but very much alive. Then we usually chat for a while. She's wonderful, I really like her."

"I'll phone her tonight," Ray promised. 

"Give her my best."

"You want me to get Nathaniel to look at your typewriter? He's very mechanically inclined, he might figure it out."

"i might if it acts up again, but it'll probably be just fine now."

Ray smiled. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it."

"Arlessa...you really worried me earlier when you phoned me," Varel said, trying to sound calm. "Was everything alright?"

"Actually, I was mugged," she said. "Sort of. It seems Kristoff doesn't exactly want to be found. I'd like you to look over his notes. There's some phone numbers, I'm going to start calling tomorrow. I think he's in the Blackmarsh, but I have no idea what he might be doing there...and you stopped listening after I said I was mugged, didn't you?"

Varel apologized, "I'm sorry, my Lady, I know you can take care of yourself, but you are alright? Do you need to see a healer? I can call in Anders."

"I'm fine," Ray promised. "Really."

He smiled weakly. "Of course. I'm sorry."

"Varel," Ray said kindly, "you don't have to be so formal with me. I really appreciate you showing me so much respect, it actually makes me feel like I know what I'm doing. But I could really use a friend and I trust you."

"My lady," Varel said, "it is better for us both if we keep some distance."

Ray frowned. "Of course. Please, excuse me."

Ray left the room, trying not to cry. It was a stupid thing to want to cry about anyways. So what if he didn't want to be her friend, or anything else for that matter. The man was so dedicated to his job, he might as well be married to that desk.

Ray composed herself and headed back to her office. On her way there, Anders stopped her nervously.

"There's a woman in the courtyard who says she's the Bann of Amaranthine. She needs to talk to you right away. She doesn't look happy, Boss."

Ray nodded and headed out the main doors. Esmerelle waited in the courtyard, two police officers standing beside her.

"Your highness," Ray greeted. "For what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I wished to visit you," Esmerelle said cheerfully. "Let us have some tea and have a chat. It is so nice to have another woman in power, we should support each other, should we not?"

Ray raised an eyebrow and gestured for Esmerelle to follow her. "Why the officers?"

"Well," Esmerelle said, taking her arm. "That is one of the many things I would like to talk to you about. They'll just wait for us in the throne room, I think. You must have an office or study, do you not?"

Ray brought her into her study and called over for the kitchens to bring them some refreshments. Ray sat at her desk and Esmerelle sat across from her.

"You'll need a better spot for your hostess duties," Esmerelle commented, glancing around. "This is hardly suitable for a young lady entertaining."

"This is a place of business, your highness."

"You would refer to me as my Lady, as we are peers," Esmerelle corrected. "I see you were not brought up with the proper rules of etiquette. I am told you are from East Jader in a charming little suburb."

"Originally, I'm from Highever," Ray said. "I moved to Jader when I was a teenager and used it as a base when I was a huntress and protectress." 

"So you ran around like a primitive Avaar," Esmerelle chuckled. "The Maker does have a sense of humour."

"The Avaar actually have a very complicated system of honour and formality," Ray argued. "I often spent weeks at a time with different tribes. It's an experience I highly recommend, my Lady, if one wishes to know how to become diplomatic."

A page came in with tea and cookies. Ray thanked them quietly and she scuttled off, closing the door behind her.

Esmerelle said, "I have come to talk to you about my city. While you may be Arlessa of Amaranthine, the city is under my command. Each Bann has control of the laws and bylaws of the cities they possess. Is that not true?"

"I would have to double check, but I believe so, yes," Ray said, "but an Arl may revoke protection of a Bann's territory if they disagree."

"But the City would be impossible to cut out so easily, being the centre of all commerce in the area. You need my fealty as much as my people need the protection of the militia. Neither of us would go to war so easily, but I will bring war upon us both if I need to."

"Cut the crap," Ray said. "What do you want?"

"Fine, let us be frank," Esmerelle said. "I am not happy with the changes you have already made to Amaranthine and now you infiltrate my city without permission in order to further grasp for power."

"We were collecting information about the darkspawn attack," Ray said. "And the changes to my own leadership of the Wardens do not concern you."

"It does when it involves Nathaniel Howe."

Ray watched Esmerelle's face carefully as the Bann said, "I imagine he has told you why he was disowned, which is why you have made such a foolish decision to protect him. Your other decisions reveal much as well. I know you are the bastard daughter of an elven man and his human mistress. You knew that if this were revealed publically, you would be ousted from power. While the South may have abandoned all civility with the MacTirs, the North remains faithful to the teachings of the Chantry."

"Don't you mean the teachings of the Orleasians?" Ray asked cynically. 

"Do not doubt my love for my country."

"Do not doubt my love for my men," Ray said angrily. "Yes, I made the decision to protect him, but I did so with the full support of every Ferelden Warden. We decided as a group what was important for us and we decided together to enact this decision. The laws of a country have not always applied to Wardens when their brotherhood is under persecution. So yes, I did it partially to protect myself in order to legitimize my birth."

"Let me offer you a compromise, Warden," Esmerelle said. "Marry the Howe boy. The bloodline of Amaranthine will continue and there will be no question of his depravity further. Your own bloodline will be diluted enough that no one would guess your child's grandparent. Then you will allow your husband to rule in your stead and the Howes will have Amaranthine again."

"Or?"

Esmerelle threatened, "Girl, you don't want to see what "or" entails. I have held my seat of power for two decades when other men have dared to take it from me. I have always done what I had to in order to protect Amaranthine from half breed degenerate filth like you. I have enough to destroy you right now, but I offered you peace. I own Amaranthine and I will destroy it if it means saving it."

"I would like you to leave, Esmerelle," Ray said quietly. 

"I will, but my officers will remain," Esmerelle said, sneering. "You see, Vigil's Keep is under the extended territory of the Amaranthine City Police and I thought it was best that, given your increase in civilians, it would be best to have someone on sight in cause of emergencies. Do you not think so? I would be careful, little girl. If you told them to go, the press might think you have something to hide."

"Get. Out."

Esmerelle left the room, leaving her tea cooling on Ray's desk. Ray went back to Varel's office and knocked loudly on the door. He let her inside and she shut the door behind her.

"Bann Esmerelle is conspiring against the Wardens," Ray said almost silently. "I need you to handle this. Get me a record of every law on Amaranthine record and bring our lawyer to live permanently on site. There's also two police officers here, please make sure there is space for them to sleep."

"My Lady, we're already out of room. I meant to tell you, we've had twenty six people arrive today to help serve the Order."

"What now?" Ray asked.

"Your proclamation apparently inspired quite a few residents to aid us. A few will be sent to Weisshaupt to begin training, but the rest have come to serve as builders, gunsmiths, cleaners, anything to serve. They've taken up most of the barracks."

"Okay," she said, rubbing her cheek. "Then we need some tents and cabins built on site too. Maker, Varel, what am I doing?"

"I have lived in Amaranthine my entire life," Varel confided. "Rendon Howe nearly destroyed us. We had decades of tyrannical rule. Then you came along. This beautiful young woman, a commoner like them. They are in awe of you." 

"I haven't done much yet," Ray said.

"But you will," he said. "Already, the people you have brought to your side, the honesty you've given to the press, a promise of fairness among your men, you've shown that you're not Rendon Howe. I don't know how there are only twenty-six of them out there. I don't know how the entire Arling isn't in love with you."

"But not you?" She asked without thinking. "Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything."

Varel cleared his throat. "I will do as you ask, my Lady."

Ray apologized, "I will never press you again, Varel. I'm really sorry. Please, excuse me."

She went to her room, blushing like mad. When she phoned home, both of her parents laughed at her before telling her how proud they were. She stayed on the phone for a while, chatting with each of her three brothers before she finally said goodnight.


	11. Chapter Nine

They made it to the edge of the Blackmarsh near nightfall. The five of them laid out their campsite, trying to ignore the eerie noises around them. Sigrun and Ray held first watch as the men slept.

After the first hour, the fire died down. Sigrun rested against a tree, trying to keep her eyes open. Ray walked slightly into the trees, holding her rifle just ahead of her.

"Sigrun," she said quietly, "go wake the guys. There's something out there."

Ray walked a few steps further. A Disciple stood a few feet away, a crossbow in its arms. Ray held back. She had seen two of these things before and had killed both of them. Neither one she had gotten much out of, besides them pleading for a Mother or Father before they died. It might worthwhile figuring out what exactly these things were. Or why they seemed to be fighting each other, which until she happened to see a second talking one, she just assumed it was because darkspawn were stupid. 

"Hands up," she ordered.

The Disciple turned to face her. "You. The Mother said you would be here. You would look for your lost child as she would look for hers."

"How many of you are there?" Ray demanded.

"Many children of the Mother, and of the Father. More like us. The Father made me, but the Mother saved me. I serve her."

Ray asked, "Who is your Father?"

"The one who creates, who builds, the one who destroys. Father of those who speak. The Architect."

"Is he a darkspawn like you?" Ray asked.

"There is no one like him."

"And the Mother?" 

"She is freedom. She will return the song to us."

"Okay, this isn't very helpful," Ray said angrily. "Are you actually going to share what's going on or should I just shoot you?"

"If you do, you will never find your son."

"Kristoff?" 

Ray lowered her rifle slightly, but felt the sudden tug in her chest. She spun around, hearing the cries coming from camp. She raced back, shooting through a genlock. She tossed a blanket at a naked Oghren and fired another shot through a hurlock's head. 

"The Mother said you would come here!" The Disciple laughed. "They come for their own kind! But you will not escape this night, Warden!"

The Disciple tossed an orb onto the ground and suddenly the world warped around her. Nathaniel grabbed her and pulled her to him. But the world still spun, the colours swirling together. She felt herself tossed to the ground.

When she rose, the air was green and the ground light against her feet. 

"Where are we?" She asked.

"The shitting Fade," Anders said. "Shit. Shit. Shit. We're not supposed to be here. We've got two dwarves and they're here. This is bad, this is really bad." 

Nathaniel rubbed his back. "We're fine. We're all alive and in one piece."

"For now," Sigrun commented. "But there's still darkspawn. That Disciple thing just ran off. Should we go kill him or?"

"Let's just figure out how we escape," Ray said. "He said Kristoff was here. We should keep looking for him."

Oghren called out, "Has anyone seen my pants?"

"That's our next priority," Ray promised.

Oghren wrapped a jacket around his boxers and followed the rest of them further into the Blackmarsh. Sigrun looked around in wonder. Nathaniel occasionally redirected her to not crash into a tree.

Ray scouted ahead with Anders, Nathaniel protecting the dwarves. It was hard to tell if they had been walking for minutes or hours. 

"Look!" Anders called.

Ray saw the man running from them. She chased after him. He tripped over a tree root and she caught up to him. Her eyes widened as she grabbed his collar. 

"It's you," Kristoff said fearfully. "Warden, Warden leave me here. It's over now, my body is gone. There is no more that he can do. Please. This is death, just let me have it. Please do not try to save me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ray asked.

"If I tell you, will you do as I ask? Burn my body, scatter my ashes. Destroy me."

Ray said, "Fine, whatever. I promise. Tell me what's going on?" 

She let go of him and Kristoff began, "I came here before it was permitted for Orleasians to cross the border. I was investigating a rumour of a talking darkspawn in Amaranthine. I studied them, from a distance at first, and I saw...I saw him."

"Who?"

"The Architect," Kristoff whispered. "I saw him in my dreams. Terrible dreams. He tried to convince me to join him. He said that if I did, he could save me from my fate. He showed me it all. The fire, the death, the destruction. But I could not give up my soul, not even for my own life. Warden...he is not what you think he is. He will bring only death. He wears the face of truth, but he will only bring vengeance. My pack will not be far from here in the real world. Take it. All my notes are there. You can find the Architect and you can kill him. The Mother too."

"Who is the Mother?" Ray asked.

"A broodmother, awakened to know the horror that she is. She seeks to bring the darkspawn back to the Old Gods, to bring them back to their basic nature. The Architect wants to free them, to be like men. They send their armies against each other. The Architect sent a Disciple to find you, but you slayed him, as you did the speaker of the Mother. They believe I serve the Architect, as do the rest of the Wardens. I tried to stop them, but I was afraid, too afraid. I had to stay away, I had to keep my body away from him."

An explosion rocked through the ground and Ray looked over at the Estate, the other Wardens running towards her. Kristoff's eyes widened as he saw the rest of them.

"You cannot trust him," Kristoff said. "I must go. Sister, do not trust him."

He faded and Ray reached out for him, but could no longer grasp his form. 

"What did he say?" Anders asked.

"Nothing good," Ray said quietly. "Come on, let's keep going."

They went towards the sound of the disturbance and found a small village. There were a dozen people in the square, rioting in front of an Estate. From their dressage, Ray guessed they had been from just before the Ferelden Independence wars. Among them, there was a glimmer of bright light. It moved towards them. It swept through them before incorporating as an armoured knight.

"You are Grey Wardens," it said.

"Yes," Ray said.

"You are alive, you are not to be in this place. Why have you come?"

"There was a darkspawn who trapped us here," Ray said. "We are trying to get home. Do you know how we can leave?"

The knight said nothing.

"What are you?" Nathaniel asked.

Anders said, "It's a spirit. Maybe empathy, compassion."

"Justice," it said.

"Justice," Ray said, "we need to get out of the Fade. Help us, please."

Justice replied, "Aid me and I will aid you. Beyond these gates, a witch lives. She has been using the life force of these villagers even in their death. The people are crying out for justice, so I have come to give it to them. Stand with me, slay the witch with me, and I will find a way to bring you back to your world."

Ray turned to the rest of the group. "Thoughts?"

Sigrun said practically, "We don't seem to have many other options, Boss." 

"Okay," Ray agreed. "Lead on."

They joined the crowd and Justice broke through the gate. They flooded the Estate, fighting against wraiths and demons. Ray saw the Disciple and chased after him, grabbing her hunting knife. He grabbed a sword from his sash.

"You know why the Mother called me the First?" He laughed. "Because I killed all of my brothers before her. There is no one who can best me. Come then, Warden. Let us fight. Let us end this, here and now. There is no match for-"

The First fell, blood streaming from his mouth. Ray turned, seeing Sigrun holding a still smoking gun.

"Sorry, were you waiting for him to finish?" She asked.

Ray grinned and grabbed her rifle, joining the battle. She aimed her gun towards the witch and fired through her heart. The creature cried out and suddenly she was at Ray's side, squeezing the Warden's throat. Ray tried to fight back.

"Those you have sided with burned me alive in my own home," the witch cried. "They will burn you too, girl. Men do not like a woman in power. You will burn as I have burned!"

Ray kicked her away and fell to the ground, catching her breath. The witch blasted a blaze of fire towards her. She dodged it, but it still singed her left arm. Ray stood again, grabbing her pistol. She tried to fire, but it only clicked.

The witch laughed, "I control the fire in this world, Warden. Your weapons have no power against me."

Ray threw her hunting knife, but the witch blasted it out of the air. Ray threw a punch, but the witch caught her wrist. Ray stood transfixed as the witch's hand grew hot, burning through her skin. She closed her eyes and screamed. 

Suddenly, she fell. Ray looked up, seeing a bright wave of light surrounding the witch, crushing her. The witch bellowed out, finally collapsing. 

With her final breath, the witch cursed, "If you love mortals so, spirit, then you can die among them." 

The world turned suddenly, lights flashing brightly, the ground shaking. Anders grabbed Ray and held her to him protectively. 

And just as quickly, it was over. Anders helped Ray to the ground and examined her severe burns. Oghren raced off, happy to find his pants stuck in a nearby tree. The group rested, catching their breath. 

Nathaniel heard the screams first. He took off into the forests and Ray chased behind him, Anders racing after her. She found Nathaniel in a clearing, standing over Kristoff's corpse. But the corpse was crying, keening. Nathaniel looked at her in fear.

Ray stepped forward gingerly.

"Warden," the corpse whispered. "It is as he knew it would be. I am outside the Fade. I was torn and broken. Warden, send me home."

"Justice?" Ray asked. "It's okay, we'll figure something out." 

"You don't understand," Justice whispered, "we knew what we would become. We knew it for so long. Warden, friend of Anders, friend of Justice. Do not let it end like this. Do not let this form suffer so."

"Kristoff must have heard his Calling," Anders said quietly. 

Justice whispered painfully, "Yes. The sounds of those in the dark, those screaming out for us to join them. This body is dead, but its blood still sings the songs of the old gods. Make it stop, Warden. Please."

"Justice," Ray explained, kneeling down beside him. "If I kill you, I don't know what is going to happen to you. You may stop existing entirely. If we can get you back to the Keep, we might be able to help you."

"We're taking the corpse with us now?" Nathaniel asked in exasperation. "This is really going to help you convince Stroud you're sane."

"You do not wish to take me with you," Justice said, closing his eyes.

"I want to help you," she insisted. "Anders, can you do anything for him?"

Anders kneeled down beside her and placed his hands on Justice's skin. His face relaxed slightly, almost smiling.

"You smell of the Fade," Justice said tiredly. "It calls out through you in pure shining light. Kristoff knew your face, knew your eyes."

"I think we've solved part of the mystery here," Sigrun said, pulling a baggie out of Kristoff's bag. "I'm guessing about enough psychedelics in here to convince the King of Ferelden that he was an Antivan druffalo."

Ray tried not to smirk. "Justice, there are drugs in your system, it will pass, I promise. Come on, let's get you on your feet."

Ray and Anders helped him up. Justice looked around in wonder. Despite the obvious gash across his face, he looked relatively lively. They might be able to keep this form alive and going for at least a few weeks until they found a way to release the spirit without harming it.

Until then...well, Varel would just have to deal with it.


	12. Chapter Ten

Ray had fallen asleep reading Kristoff's journal again. Each of her Wardens got a turn to go through it, trying to figure out the ramblings on a man high on LSD, but clearly had been in contact with the this Architect. And with more and more darkspawn attacks being reported every day, this needed to be solved as quickly as possible. So Ray reread it, again and again, until she found a solution. 

Ray had sent the transcription of the journal to Stroud, along with the two letters and the wedding ring. Justice had wanted to keep the ring, but Ray insisted that it belonged to Kristoff's widow.

Justice looked alive enough that with enough make up and daily healing sessions, he could pass for mortal. He spoke little to others outside the Wardens and spent most of his time with Anders. Ray suspected he was a little infatuated with the mage and Nathaniel was a little jealous.

Since returning from the Blackmarsh weeks earlier, Ray had found herself unable to sleep. Between fighting darkspawn almost every day and her royal duties, she was utterly exhausted. 

Ray got up and washed her face. She looked at the clock. It was close enough to dinner that she could head downstairs. She needed a break. Her oral Orleasian was near perfect after growing up so close to the border, but her reading skills were still lacking. The parts in her birth tongue were easy enough to figure out, but whenever Kristoff slipped into his native language, usually high as a kite, Ray had great difficulty understanding.

Ray went downstairs and sat in the dining hall beside Wade and Herren. She chatted with them, but mainly watched as they affectionately bickered. She was half way through her meatloaf when a page came into the hall.

"Excuse me, my Lady," the servant said nervously. "But the Seneschal said it was urgent. He'd like to see you in his office."

Ray gave the rest of her food to Herren, who discretely smiled at the extra helping. She went into Varel's office and he gestured her to close the door.

"Can I help you, Seneschal?" She asked stiffly.

Varel's face fell a little and she hated herself for it, but it was the best way to deal with her stupid crush on the man. 

"I've just received a phone call from Bann Esmerelle's office," Varel said, recovering quickly. "She and several other minor lords have asked for an audience tonight. It appears there are several criminals that they would like to face your judgment."

"Tonight?" Ray asked.

"It is very unusual," Varel agreed. "I won't receive any missives before hand. You'll have to go with your instincts. Traditionally, they would deal with these issues themselves unless there was a case of gross negligence, murder, treason. Nothing that warranted at least a decade or two in prison. Something must have happened in Amaranthine today and it must not have been good."

Ray ran her hand through her hair. "Will I get to speak to Bann Esmerelle before hand?"

"I will try to arrange it. They'll be arriving probably in the next two hours. I suggest you prepare. I can review previous judgments under Howe's rule with you if you'd like and I'll have someone prepare a suitable outfit for you."

"Okay," Ray agreed. "I should go then. If you just want to send the documents to my study, I won't bother you. I'm sure you'll have other business to attend to having all these people suddenly here. You're much better with reporters than I am."

Ray turned to leave. Her hand was on the doorknob when Varel interrupted. 

"My lady," Varel said, rising from his desk. "Please, don't go just yet."

Ray looked back at him. "Yes, Seneschal?"

Varel walked to her side. "My lady, I am sorry that I have offended you. When I said we should keep distance, I did not mean that I did not wish to serve you. I missed your company these past few weeks. I missed you."

Ray took a deep breath. "Varel, I'm only going to say this once, because I feel like a fool, and I don't particularly want to go through this again. I like you. As a friend and as a colleague. Maybe I once thought that there was something else happening, but I was wrong. I just want to move past it. So, I'm sorry if I've been a little cold with you. You're right and I've just been reacting...like a little girl, frankly."

"I...I don't know what to say," he admitted.

"It's probably best if you don't say anything," she laughed weakly. "I'm fine. Let's just move on and pretend I wasn't being ridiculous right now."

"Ray," he said softly, taking her hand. "I..."

There was a knock at the door and he withdrew. Ray opened the door to see Anders on the other side.

"There's been another attack, in Beaton," Anders said, breathlessly. "Maybe fifteen miles from here. There's a lot of civilians, I-"

"Go," Ray said. "I'll be right with you. Take every doctor or paramedic you can find. Take Sigrun and Oghren with you. I'll be there as soon as I can." 

Anders ran off. Varel paled.

"There's maybe twenty thousand people living in Beaton," Varel said. "They've never attacked such a populated area before."

"We've got more troops than we had before," Ray reassured. "I'll leave a light guard here, but the rest I'll send out in the field with me. Get the new barracks ready, we may have some refugees staying with us."

"My lady, Bann Esmerelle will be here in less than two hours," Varel reminded.

"I'm a Grey Warden," Ray said. "This is what I do. I'll be back in time, I promise."

Ray ran from the room and straight to the armoury.

***

Ray barely returned before Bann Esmerelle. A servant helped her wash quickly and fix her hair. The rest of the Wardens were still out fighting the fire and assisting the wounded. It was only because Nathaniel forced her to go that she arrived in time. It was fortunate enough that she had left the Keep by motorcycle so she hadn't left them short a vehicle.

Ray came down into the throne room, dressed in a simple light green A-Line gown. She wore the laurels of Amaranthine and little silver pendant of a griffon around her neck. Sigrun had bought one for both of them, having a weakness for shiny objects. 

She sat down on the throne and nodded to Varel.

"Let them enter," Varel ordered.

Several Amaranthine police officers came forward, dragging forward three elven prisoners clamped in irons. While the first two were strangers to her, she recognized the woman at the end. She was new at the Keep, arriving only a week ago. She served as a mechanic, if Ray remembered correctly.

Behind them, Bann Esmerelle walked out, dressed in black, as if mourning. Ray could hear a news crew just outside the doors, setting up their equipment.

"What is the meaning of this?" Ray asked.

A police officer approached the throne and saluted. "Arlessa Caron, we have come to ask for judgment for these three convicts, as per Amaranthine law."

Ray asked, "The charges?"

Bann Esmerelle stood in the back, smirking as the officer explained, "The first is Theron Thomas, 32. He is accused of living as a homosexual for eight years. His co-offender escaped the scene before we could apprehend him. The second, Marlon Dean, 18. He is charged with manslaughter for killing an on duty police officer. The last, Jacinda Nell, 26, is charged with first degree murder."

"And this had to be done this evening?" Varel asked, glaring at Esmerelle.

Esmerelle replied with a sneer, "I admit that I needed counsel. The Arlessa has much more experience with criminals than I. If she does not think she is up to the task..."

"These cases should be going through civil courts," Ray said.

"In cases of criminal offences, a monarch has the right to intervene, as long as the accused is not a blood relative," Esmerelle said. "I am effectively the chief of police of Amaranthine and you are my superior."

Ray could feel the disgust Esmerelle had thrown into the last word. 

"Bring forward Mr. Thomas," Ray said.

The first elf was unclipped and brought to kneel before Ray.

"Is what they say true?" Ray asked.

The man closed his eyes and nodded.

"What is your profession, Mr. Thomas?" Ray asked.

"I am a librarian, your highness," he said quietly.

"And your partner?" 

"He...he stays home with our son and daughter, my lady. I do not know where my children are, but they are innocent. Please, just-"

Ray said softly, "Rise."

Theron did and Ray replied, "According to the law, I must sentence you both to Fort Drakon for a very long time. Longer for your love, as he has evaded the law. So I can offer you only two things. I can exile you to the South in Gwaren. Or you can come and serve the Wardens as a civilian. Your other half too, but I cannot offer him safety until he comes and swears to me himself. What do you choose, Theron Thomas?"

The elf went forward and kissed her hand. "I swear my loyalty to you, my Lady. I will serve you."

Ray said. "For now, you remain in my custody. My men will escort you to a cell until you are an official member of the Order."

Theron bowed and gave himself over to a guard, who led him from the room.

Ray met Esmerelle's glance before calling for the next to come forward.

"Mr. Dean," Ray said. "Have you committed the crime they say you have?"

"Yes," he admitted. "A man came into my store, claiming I had stolen goods. He...he attacked my father. I fought back. Do what you must, my Lady."

Ray looked to the officer who had first spoken. "Was there a report conducted, officer?"

"Yes. I had the charges reduced to manslaughter myself," he said. "But I can't do anymore for him. He admits he is guilty. Sometimes with these elves, they think everything is a threat."

Marlon pleaded, "He attacked us, my Lady. You have to understand. I would never-please. I did it, I killed him, but it was in self-defense. They'll do it again, I know they will. Please. Do something!"

Ray closed her eyes. She knew she could offer him life as a full member of the Order, but only the Joining itself would protect him. And she could sense it in his eyes that he would not survive the Ordeal.

"What is the sentence for manslaughter in Amaranthine?" Ray whispered to Varel.

"Twenty five years," Varel replied quietly. "But I do not think he would last the first three. He's practically a child still. You could conscript him, but this will not sit well with the people."

"What should I do?" She asked.

"He doesn't ask for justice for himself, he asks that it doesn't happen again," Varel pointed out.

"Captain," Ray said, turning back to the officer. "Your name, please."

"James Harrison, my Lady."

"How many men serve with you?"

"86, my Lady." 

"Captain Harrison, how many of those 86 are elves?"

Harrison hesitated. "None, my Lady."

"As of tomorrow, you will begin actively recruiting elven officers. By the end of this month, I expect to see five elven cadets. If there is not budget, then the throne of Amaranthine will provide their salaries. For now, Captain Harrison, you will report to me weekly regarding any cases of misconduct by officers. Is that understood?"

"Yes, my Lady."

"Mr. Dean," Ray asked. "The record holds you at 18. How old are you, really?"

"I'll be 17 next month, my Lady. I lied so I could drop out of school a few years ago."

"Therefore he is a minor," Ray said. "He will be held for five years in the juvenile detention facility on the Storm Coast. After the first year, he will be up for probation. I also expect, Captain Harrison, that you will be more careful investigating the backgrounds of those who are brought before the Arlessa."  
Marlon was clipped back into the chain and the woman was brought forward. Her officer tossed her onto the ground before Ray.

"Ms. Nell, you are charged with a most grave crime," Ray said. "I do not wish you to speak until I hear from your lawyer. Is her representative here?"

"She declined a lawyer, my Lady," Harrison said. "I have her signed declaration here."

Harrison gave her the document and Ray looked through it briefly before giving it to Varel. Her Seneschal nodded and she looked back to Jacinda.

"Do you wish to represent yourself?" Ray asked.

Jacinda shook her head.

"Explain to me the situation," Ray asked Harrison.

"Ms. Nell was seen stabbing a Mr. Frederick Danvers in a hotel room in the Crown Royal. Mr. Danvers was found dead on the scene."

Harrison handed her photographs of the crime scene and the murder weapon. She shuddered slightly before giving the evidence to Varel.

"For such a complicated matter," Ray said, "it is unjust to decide something so quickly without a trial."

"I confessed," Jacinda whispered. 

"Was it in self defense? A crime of passion?" Ray asked.

"No," she murmured. "I planned it."

"Why?" Ray asked.

"Does it matter?" Jacinda asked tiredly.

"To me it does," Ray assured. "Tell me."

"He...he hurt me. My sister too. He..."

Ray's heart sank. "I will speak to the accused alone privately before I provide judgment. We will hold her over night and I will consult with our lawyer in the morning."

Esmerelle asked, "Are you unfit to render a verdict? She murdered a man in cold blood and admits it to you now. She has signed away any rights she had. In cases that warrant the death penalty, the Arlessa must be the one to sentence her. And as I imagine you know, as of part of King Maric's conditions for Wardens serving in Ferelden, one charged with second or first degree murder cannot be conscripted into the Order."

"She will be held overnight," Ray said firmly. "We will hold a trial in the morning when she has representation."

"My dear Arlessa," Esmerelle chuckled. "You will not live to see morning."

The world went too quickly in the seconds after. Guns were drawn. Her men fired back. Varel was lying on her, his body heavy. She realized he was bleeding. She found the wound, pressing down on it as hard as she could. His eyes were heavy and he struggled to keep them open.

Someone pulled her off him and she fought back, not realizing it was Nathaniel. She felt dizzy, sick to her stomach. She slipped into the black.


	13. Chapter Eleven

_Sources say that the Arlessa is seriously injured after a sentenced prisoner opened fire on the throne room. There have been multiple causalities reported. King Alistair commented on the situation to the press earlier this morning, asking for the citizens of Amaranthine to keep the Arlessa in their prayers. For ATV News, this is Dexter Abbott._

Ray stirred, her entire body aching. She realized quickly she was in a hospital. She sat up slowly, grabbing her injured shoulder. She looked up at the muted TV, playing footage of the wrecked throne room. She realized that Anders was asleep in the chair beside her. She touched his shoulder and he yawned. Once he realized she was awake, he jumped up excitedly.

"You're okay!" He said cheerfully. "Great! Nate! Sigrun! Everyone!"

The rest of her Wardens came into the room, patting her on the uninjured arm, chattering excitedly. She was in a daze as a nurse came in and shooed them out. Nathaniel managed to sneak back in.

"What happened?" Ray asked tiredly.

Nathaniel sat beside her. "Ray...you remember the judgment? There was an elven woman. When you sentenced her to death, she opened fire. There was a firefight. Only two of you made it." 

"Varel," she said suddenly. "Where is he?" 

"Ray, don't get upset, he's okay, but he's-"

"I need to see him," she insisted, standing up. 

Nathaniel helped her to her feet. She leaned on her IV stand and went into the room beside hers. Varel lay on the bed, still as the grave. He groaned, but his eyes stayed closed.

"As far as I can tell," Nathaniel said quietly, "he threw himself in front of you. They took four bullets out of his chest. He was lucky, but he nearly lost a lung. He hasn't woken up since you got here last night."

"Can you get me some clothes?" Ray asked. "Something to eat? I'm going to stay here with him."

"You need rest."

"He saved my life," Ray insisted. "I'm sitting here until he wakes up."

"Ray-"

She waved him away and lowered herself into a chair. She watched the monitors above Varel's bed, watching the steady beat of his heart. She put her hand over his and she waited.

***

Varel finally stirred a few hours later. He grimaced, shifting away, before realizing who was beside him. He smiled slowly.

"Thank the Maker," she whispered. "You stupid, stupid man."

He shook his head and said hoarsely, "Pen?"

Ray found a notepad one of the nurses had left behind and flipped to a blank page. She gave it and a pencil to him. Painfully, he wrote _I'm glad you're okay. I would never have forgiven myself if anything happened to you._

"You should get some rest," she said, squeezing his hand. 

He wrote: _You too._

"I don't want to leave you," she admitted.

_Rest._

He smiled and closed his eyes, squeezing her hand. She took the notepad away and let him sleep. She went back to her own room and laid down. She noticed the screen between beds was closed and she went to open it to let the sunlight in.

Someone grabbed her. She tried to scream, but a gag was placed in her mouth. A needle injected into her injured shoulder. As things went dark, she kicked out, punching, eventually knocking her attacker back.

"Help!" She bellowed.

She hit the floor.

***

When she came to, she was being lifted off a helicopter. She looked up in amusement as the blades circled around again and again. She looked over to see Anders beside her, his magic flowing easily through her.

She closed her eyes again.

***

The next time she opened them, she was lying in her bed at the Keep. She looked around blearily before leaning over the side and throwing up. Someone held her hair back and cleaned her face. She thought she saw Sigrun, but thought she might be dreaming again.

***

When she was finally strong enough to stand, she ran herself a bath. She washed every part of her, trying not to focus on anything other than that bath. When she finally got out and dressed, she heard a knock at the door. Nathaniel waited for her, looking somber.

"We need to talk," he said quietly.

He came into the room and told her everything. Her memories started to piece themselves back together. The trial. Esmerelle's sneer. The stranger behind the curtain who had tried to finish the job. 

The darkspawn attack had been a distraction, Esmerelle's men leading them to the city. While the Keep was nearly empty, Esmerelle had tried to kill her and frame it as Ray's own mercy gone astray. When she had failed, she had tried to kill her in the hospital. They managed to pump the poison from her stomach and brought her home. Esmerelle had been sent to Fort Drakon where she was due to be hanged.

Ray took this in as calmly as she could, but her hands were utterly shaking.

"What happens now?" Ray asked.

"Varel has called a press conference for tonight. He'll address the media and explain what happened truthfully. You'll make a brief appearance to show that you're still alive, but he'll do most of the work."

"No rest for the wicked," she muttered.

"There's something else," Nathaniel said. "I think I've figured out a clue from Kristoff's journal. There's a sketch in the back of the book, do you remember, of the two Avaar men reaching to each other? It's been bothering me, where I've seen that. There's a forest about three hours from here. I remember seeing these statues when I was a kid. It came back to me when I was in the hospital. I'm going to send some men to scout out the area and if it's promising, we'll go when you're better. Anders promised me that you'll be back on your feet within the week. You do have a personal healer at your disposal, it won't take you long physically."

She nodded. "This is good news. Can you have someone bring me up some toast and tea? Maybe the newspaper too. I need to know how to swing this."

"Actually, there's someone who wants to talk to you when you have a minute. I've got the phone number right here."

Ray took the scrap of paper and unfolded it. She didn't recognize the area code. Nathaniel left and she went to the phone beside her bed and rang through the number. An operator spoke to her first in Qunlat, and then in Ferelden. She said her name and the operator asked her to hold.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Lieutenant Caron. Um, someone told me to phone this number?"

"Ray! Glad to hear you're okay. This is Louie Tabris. I'm sorry I haven't gotten in touch sooner. With the war going on, our phone lines are down half the time, and people keep telling me Vigil's Keep's phone number is supposed to be secret."

"Warden Commander?" Ray asked in surprise. 

"Nope, just Louie now. Hell of a thing, isn't it doing what you do? I can't imagine. I just had to keep Alistair in line and now you've got a whole crew to manage. Listen, I don't know when the line is going to cut out again, so I'll say quickly what I wanted to say. Don't let the bastards get you down, Ray. I've seen you on TV. You're a real tank of a woman and much better with people than I ever was. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry I put you in this situation, but Maker, I couldn't have asked for a better woman to do it."

"Thank you, War-thank you, Louie."

"Don't mention it, Ray. You've got this. You take care of Oghren for me. Listen, I should tell you something before-"

The line suddenly ended and she frowned, putting down the receiver. 

***

Ray descended the stairs in her dress uniform. She entered the throne room, blinking as cameras flashed in her face. She sat down, hearing the string of questions. Most were asking about her health, how scared she must have been, how lucky she must feel. She answered them all by rote, only hesitating at the last few.

"Your highness, who will you place now as Bann of Amaranthine?"

"I will have to think about it and consult with my advisors," she said.

"But will it be another Warden?"

"No," she said.

The room exploded with questions again and Varel offered his hand, leading her away. Captain Garevel continued, answering about new security protocols in Amaranthine. 

"Can I talk to you?" Varel asked.

She nodded and followed him into his office. He locked the door behind them.

"I wanted to thank you before," she began, "in the hospital, but with everything-"

Varel silenced her with a kiss. She melted into his touch and returned it.

"When we both survived," he whispered, "I swore to myself that I would do that."

"I thought...I thought..."

"I know you don't remember the moment we first saw each other," he said. "You were a little busy fighting darkspawn. But when you slew that creature and saved my life...I knew that I loved you. I thought it foolish, I'm old enough to be your father."

"Only if you had been a very naughty teenager," she joked nervously. 

He continued, smiling sadly, "But every day, I loved you more. When I thought you might feel the same, I was so scared. I had sworn to protect you, even from myself. I knew you would have to marry well, I knew if someone even thought there was something between us...I couldn't hurt you. I knew I could never be with you. I still can't...but when I saw that gun, I didn't even think. I thought I was going to die in your arms and I thought...there are worse ways to go."

"I promised myself I would tell you I loved you. I would kiss you, just once," he said quietly. "And then I would ask you to accept my resignation." 

"Varel," she whispered, heartbroken. 

"You're such an idealist, Ray," he said tenderly. "I love that about you. You always want to find a way to make everything work out. But the world is harsh against women. Amaranthine thinks of you as a princess. If you lose that support, they'll turn on you. I think you know that."

"I don't care," she said angrily. "That's my choice to make. If you don't want to be with me, fine, but don't tell me it's for my own good. I choose. This is my life, not yours. And if I say I want to be with you, I want to be with you. The rest of them can go...can go to hell!"

She kissed him hungrily and he pressed her against the wall, kissing her back. They parted, breathing heavily.

"I'm not some blushing little maid you need to protect," she whispered. "I just survived two assassination attempts in the last 24 hours. What I would like now is for you to be in my bed making me forget about all that."

"I didn't realize-"

"Varel, I'm 29. I hate to tell you, but I haven't been a virgin in a very long time. Granted, it's been years, but I'm told it's like riding a bicycle."

He laughed and she grinned. "Don't tell me you're one, my dear Seneschal."

He said nervously, "I'm 45. I've had the odd lover here and there over the years. But like you...it's...been awhile. Ray. We don't have to rush into anything."

"As a reminder, I nearly died twice in the last 24 hours. If you're worried about either of us ripping stitches, I'll take that under advisement. Otherwise, you don't need to worry about me."

"Maybe we should heal a little more first," he said, stroking her cheek.

"You let me know when you're ready then," she murmured.

He kissed her tenderly. "Good night, my Lady."

"Good night, dear Seneschal."


	14. Chapter Twelve

The scouts sent to the Wending Wood had not returned after four days. The six Wardens agreed that this warranted investigation. They prepared for a long journey away from the Keep. On the morning of their departure, Ray walked the parapets with Varel, discussing any possible scenarios that he might have to deal with in her absence.

"So, imagine then, there's actually six of them, all pretending to the King's secret twin brother. What do you do then?" 

"Well, I'd ask them what the secret twin handshake was. Those who made one up, instantly out the door."

She giggled, "And those who didn't?"

"I was once told that King Alistair was very fond of cheese. Perhaps an eating contest to see who really is his twin."

"I think you may have it all figured out. You hardly need me here at all."

"I always need you here," he admitted.

She stopped and looked back at him. He kissed her hand.

"Maybe...while we still have a chance," he said, "perhaps we could find somewhere a bit more private to spend these last few hours together."

"Where did you have in mind?" She asked.

***

Varel's room was at the very top of the castle, away from all others, almost like an eagle's aerie. The moment they entered the room, he locked the door behind them. He kissed her hard and she started tearing off his clothes. He barely got her clothes off before she was lying on her back on his bed. He kissed up her thighs and licked up her slit slowly. Ray shuddered as his fingers entered her, thrusting slowly, his tongue circling her clit. Just when she felt herself on the edge, he kissed her sex and withdrew. 

She wrapped her legs around his body, practically guiding him into her with her powerful thighs. They gasped together and he thrust into her. She kissed him passionately, wrapping her fingers around his hair. He moved carefully and every nerve in her body felt it, his cock brushing perfectly inside of her. 

"You are much better than my teenage boyfriend," she teased. "He would have been finished by now."

"What every man wants to hear," he joked, nuzzling into her.

"I kid when I'm nervous," she apologized.

"I know," he said, smiling.

They kissed again and he held her to him. He picked up the pace and she arched her back, her toes digging into the meager mattress. He kissed her collarbone and moved lower, kissing the top of her breasts.

"Can I get on top?" Ray asked.

They rolled and Ray straddled him, lowering herself onto him. She groaned as she started to roll her hips. He sat up, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her breasts as they brushed past his lips and looked up at her in utter adoration. 

"I love you," he groaned.

She moved faster, pounding him into her. He gripped into her back and she kissed him fiercely. He kissed her neck.

"I have something really unsexy to say," he grunted. 

"Go ahead," she said, trying not to moan.

"We didn't use a condom, should I pull out?"

She groaned, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Touch yourself," he pleaded. "I can't last that much longer."

She thought she should feel embarrassed about doing this in front of him, but she trusted him. He wanted her to feel good.

She rubbed her clit as she rode him. He sucked on her breast, rolling the other nipple between his fingers. She moaned his name again and against as her orgasm hit her. She pleaded with him not to stop, even as he untangled from her. He pounded his fingers into her, holding her close as she reached a second peak. His thumb stroked her clit and she felt his hard cock rubbing against her ass. He growled into her shoulder, kissing her skin as she shook around him. She suddenly felt his other hand brush against her back, feeling him take himself in hand while he pleasured her. The fingers inside her stilled as he cried out, his seed spilling onto her back. 

But she wasn't sated.

She pushed him onto his back and straddled him. He laughed into her thighs, kissing them.

"The men always talked about their stamina. I shouldn't be surprised it affects the women so much too. I'm sorry, love, you've worn me out."

"I guess I'll just have to take care of things myself," she teased. 

"Oh, my lady, you wound me," he said, pulling her towards him. "Let me see if I can keep you entertained for now."

***

When Ray finally showed up to the caravan, all five of the other Wardens turned to stare at her. Sigrun finally giggled.

Ray tried to fix her hair before climbing in the front. "Not a word."

***

They suddenly stopped on the Pilgrim's path as several toppled trees lay in the road. They got out of the van, grabbing their gear.

"Sweet Andraste!" Anders called out.

They turned to see where he was pointing. Several feet away, the bodies of a dozen men were piled in a ditch. Nathaniel went over in morbid curiosity, seeing the symbol burned into the ground just in front of it.

"What does that mean?" Nathaniel asked.

Anders frowned. "It's a halla with sharpened horns. The Separatists around here use it. There's a group of Dalish around."

"They did this?" Nathaniel asked in surprise. "In the Free Marches, the Dalish just sit around drinking and smoking all day."

Anders said, "The Dalish didn't take kindly to us setting all the forest on fire trying to wipe out the darkspawn. The ones who didn't leave the country or head to an Alienage became a little more...stubborn."

"That's putting it lightly," Sigrun chimed in. "You know that scar on my calf that looks like Empress Celene? Got that from a Dalish girl who thought I looked suspicious. At least it's pretty."

"So they're the ones that attacked our men out here?" Ray asked. "Not darkspawn. Shit, just another dead end."

Nathaniel scanned the area. "No. It doesn't look right. I studied with Dalish hunters for years. These marks are too random. If it is Dalish, it's an apprentice, but no apprentice could kill these many men by themselves."

"Since when did you become the expert, love, when you said your Dalish were stoned half the time?" Anders asked.

Nathaniel blushed slightly at the endearment. "I'm just saying. This doesn't add up."

"Let's keep moving," Ray said. "Kristoff thought this place was important. He was here for a reason. Justice, can you add anything to the conversation?"

"Kristoff felt fear here," Justice said.

"Helpful," Anders said sarcastically. 

They continued up the path and into the foothills. Nathaniel scouted ahead, leaving Ray to watch the rear. Anders ran along with him, despite not being so agile in the woods.

"Hey, slow down," Anders said softly.

Nathaniel shook his head. "Something's wrong here. I don't like it, Anders."

"You're safe," Anders promised. "I'm here. And Ray's fine too. Nate, it's not your fault what happened. You know that, right?"

Nathaniel said, "I should have known it was a trap."

"How? You're not psychic, Nate."

"I knew Esmerelle would try something. A lot of our people died because I wasn't thinking, Anders. I'm not going to let that happen again."

Anders kissed him softly and Nathaniel relaxed slightly. Oghren ran past them.

"Come on love birds!" He called. "I think I see a flaming tree!"

***

They came upon the empty Dalish separatist camp, the sharpened halla's flag tattered in the breeze. 

"Shit," Anders whispered.

The camp was almost destroyed. Tents were burned to the ground. Spent shells and casings covered the ground as well as arrows. Eight burial mounds lay just before a campfire. 

"Their presence lingers in the Fade," Justice said quietly. "This was recent."

"Maybe our scouts," Ray said quietly. "Maybe retaliation...I don't know which happened first..."

Nathaniel said, "Look around the area, see if there's any clues. The statues in Kristoff's journal are not far from here. Maybe he was dealing with this clan."

"Unlikely," Sigrun said. "Kristoff was an Orleasian human. The separatists really don't like them."

"Is there anyone they do actually like?" Anders asked.

"Other Dalish...well, even that is a stretch," Sigrun said.

"Nathaniel's right. Check everything out. We need to figure out what happened here, even if so we just get out alive ourselves."

Ray and Nathaniel squatted down, examining the graves as the other four looked around. Nathaniel glanced to make sure weren't listening before turning to face her.

Nathaniel said quietly, "This wasn't our men."

"How do you know?" Ray asked.

"The size of the bullets," Nathaniel said. "I didn't want to say anything to frighten anyone else. These aren't our guns, but it was definitely our men in the ground."

"Who do you think it was then?"

"You've been a Warden longer than me. Do you feel anything?"

Ray closed her eyes and listened for the tug, the sense of those with the same Tainted blood as her. She could sense her own people and remnants, echoes. Darkspawn or other Grey Wardens had definitely been in this area recently.  
"It could be some of the Orleasians," Ray said. "Kristoff was here before he was supposed to be. Others could have snuck over the border."

"And been hiding in the forests for months?"

"Kristoff nearly made it forty days before we found him," Ray said.

"So we either have Wardens on a Dalish killing spree or darkspawn have learned how to use guns. Perfect," Nathaniel grumbled.

"Hands up where I can see them, shemlens!"

They both stood slowly, putting their hands in the air. Anders forced Justice to put his hands up before standing beside the others.

A Dalish woman walked towards them. Her hair was long, dreaded and held back with what appeared to be a skull. She wore fox skins that barely covered her body and no shoes. She held a bladed staff in her hands, holding it towards Sigrun's throat.

"We don't mean you any harm," Ray promised. "My name is Lieutenant Ray Caron of the Ferelden Grey Wardens. We've come to investigate darkspawn activity in the area. Maybe you can help us."

The woman spat at her in Elvish. Oghren started to raise his gun and Ray shook her head, keeping her hands up.

She looked back at the woman. "I can't speak Elvish, but I can understand you a little. We both know that as a mage you could destroy us even with our weapons, but we'll put them on the ground so you know we don't mean any harm."

Her Wardens looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Ray put her rifle, hunting knife, and pistol on the ground before rising again. The others groaned before following.

The Dalish woman spoke quickly and Ray said, "I know you speak Ferelden and my guess is that it's better than my Elvish. Please."

The woman said slowly, "My sister is missing."

"You think the humans took her," Ray said.

Velanna replied. "Someone did. She was not with the bodies. She is gone. This is our woods and many have come here. Now. The lindin'an come from the earth. The humans come for them and they kill us."

"Lindin'an?" Ray asked.

"I know that one," Sigrun said, "from that book you gave me about the history of Wardens in the area. "Blood-death." It's the Elvish word for the darkspawn because of the Taint it spreads."

"Where do they come from?" Ray asked.

Velanna said, "I do not help the shemlens. You are on my land. Go before I kill you too, even if you are Grey Wardens."

"When did your sister go missing?" Ray asked.

"Two nights past," Velanna said.

"We can still rescue her," Ray said. "And if she's dead, we can kill the creatures who killed her. Please, Velanna, where do they come from?"

"So you can kill her too?" Velanna snarled and slipped into Elvish again.

"I know what darkspawn do to women," Ray said, shaking. "If they have captured her, we don't have a lot of time. I know you don't trust me because I'm human, but we are both women. That's why you've split. This was a woman's camp. I can't even imagine what you went through during the war. But please believe me when I say that we are the only ones who can bring her home."

Velanna lowered her staff. "How?"

"We are immune to the sickness they spread," Ray said. "We can sense them. We are stronger than they are. It's in our very blood."

"I want this power," Velanna said. "We will trade. Your blood for my help."

She pulled out a knife and Ray shook her head. "We do it in a ritual. I can't do it here. After we find your sister, you'll come and serve as a Warden. Your sister can stay at the Keep, she'll be safe."

"To be surrounded by shemlen and flat ear men?" Velanna asked. "You must do better than that, Warden."

"I keep my men safe, even from each other," Ray promised. "If you need my blood to prove it to you, give me the knife."

Velanna handed it over and Ray sliced her palm, letting the blood drip onto the ground. Velanna took the blade and cut her own hand. She pressed their palms together and spoke a few words. The wounds both healed and Velanna pulled away.

"We have a deal," she said.

"Lead on," Ray said, picking up her weapons. 

Velanna went forward, glaring at the men behind her. Sigrun moved to the front, but Velanna sensed already that Sigrun was not just female. She signaled for Ray to walk beside her.

"You are da'linshem," Velanna said. "I feel it in the way you walk. Your mother was taken by a human man. I am sorry for your birth."

"Actually, my father is elven," Ray said. "He and my mother are married. I have three younger brothers. They live in East Jader."

"Your father is a betrayer," Velanna spat. "He disgraces his people with his misplaced seed. Still, he has little power to say no to a shemlen woman. I cannot blame you for your unfortunate blood. "

"Well, that's...nice. Thank you?"

Velanna led them further into the forest. They came to a rock face. Velanna reached out and grasped at a small fracture, sliding a door open. 

"I have gone no further," Velanna said.

Ray went first, holding her rifle out front. Anders cast a barrier around them and the familiar magic relaxed her. They descended a stone staircase slowly. When Ray reached the bottom, she examined the scene. There was a hallway, clearly carved straight into the stone. It was nearly pitch black and Velanna brought forth a fire to rest on her hand.

Oghren said, "It smells here...dead girl, you smell it too, right?"

Sigrun paused and said, "It smells like the Deep Roads."

Suddenly a smoke filled the room. It stung their eyes and filled their lungs. Ray coughed and reached out, trying to find her men. Oghren grabbed her hands, trying to pull her to him as someone pulled her away. She screamed, kicking. The air grew too heavy and she closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super bad at making up Elvish. I apologize on my lack of talent.


	15. Chapter Thirteen (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gather around children and let us talk about how screwed up the Architect is. Like, this is freaky shit. I knew once I started writing this I really wanted to examine it and man, it led me to some dark places. So I'm giving you the heads up. You may want to bail as we're going to be talking about broodmothers in the next few chapters...basically until the end.

**Content Warning for discussion of creepy Architect experimental darkspawn stuff. I don't know how to say it better than that. Those with uteri might want to look away. This CW is in effect until the end of Chapter Thirteen Part Two, but it's going to be mentioned occasionally, heads up.**

Ray woke first, holding her aching head in her hands. She blinked, seeing Sigrun and Velanna asleep beside her in hospital dressing gowns. Ray looked down at her own body. She was on a gurney, her legs bare, but most of her covered by the gown. She tried to move, but she was chained to the bed. She looked over fearfully and noticed it was the same for the other two women. Velanna had a collar tied around her throat that glowed lightly blue.

Ray struggled against the chains but to no avail. The sound woke Sigrun who cursed and swore as she tried to free herself. Velanna stirred, but she was too weak to move. 

"Hey!" Ray screamed out. "Whoever the hell you are, let us out right now! Hey!"

The door to their room unlocked and Ray struggled against her restraints. Two hurlocks came in. They spoke quietly amongst themselves and went to Velanna's bedside. They unlocked her and one tossed her over her shoulder. Velanna was too dazed to do more than try to push him away. 

"Don't you dare touch her you sons of bitches!" Ray warned. "If you're going to take anyone, you take me. You tell your Father that if he wants one of us, he takes me."

Ray pulled at the restraints, hearing it loosen. The creature heard it and bolted to her, whistling out. Velanna was clipped back in and both hurlocks ripped Ray from the bed. One injected something into her neck and she felt faint. They carried her out as Sigrun screamed for her.

Ray woke on an examination table, a light blinding her from overhead. She closed her eyes slightly until they could adjust. She saw a Dalish woman nearby.

"Seranni?" Ray asked. "You're alive?"

The woman skittered away and someone came closer. 

Ray whispered, "Holy shit."

The monster was nearly eight feet tall. He looked like a man wearing a mask, almost as if he was going to a costume party. But she could smell the rot and decay, see the pieces of him far too corrupted to be any bit human. 

He said smoothly, "This does not have to be difficult, Ray. I have tried to contact you in the past, but you destroyed my messenger of peace. Let us work together. Your blood could do so much good, Ray."

"Touch me and I'll gut you," Ray hissed.

"I have not come to harm you," he said. "We both want is best for our people, we both want an end to the Blight. What if there was a way to stop my people from hearing the Calling? What if there was a way to save yours? Imagine what we can discover from each other. It would be so much easier if you cooperated."

"Where are my men?" Ray asked.

"The Spirit was fascinating to examine in his deteriorating flesh. We have left him be for now, as his body was too weak to further test. The dwarf and the human man are resting in their rooms-"

"Resting like I was, chained to the bed?" Ray spat.

"It is for your own protection. The mage we had to separate for now. We have always had such interesting results with mages. Seranni's sister is an excellent find. I once managed to cure a female elf, made her fertile again. It is a shame that Velanna has not taken the Joining yet, but we still have your male mage. Anders, not a true name, but a protection. Your Order keeps so many secrets, even from each other."

"What do you want from us?" Ray demanded.

"So many things," he murmured almost dreamily. "Your kind is special, the Wardens. You bridge the gap between us, reaching to us in the dark. I wish to reach back. Let me make my kind like you, make yours like mine. Shall I share with you my experiments?"

It reached for a journal on the counter nearby. It flipped it open.

"I had so few subjects in these past few months," he said. "But now to have six Wardens, and such diverse specimens, and a Dalish woman...I am able to do so many of the ones I had planned. Your Spirit's body was so easy to speed along in the Taint. I hoped to free him from the body but he seems impossible to remove, even under the threat of certain death. Your Oghren and Sigrun are a set pair, easy to play with. The Taint affects dwarves so slowly, perhaps in their genetics we can find a solution. Unfortunately, it will require much of their bone marrow. Perhaps only the woman will pass, she has the most exposure to my kind and is the most valuable. The hunter's mind is the sharpest, I can see that already. From him, we can gain the will needed to resist the Call. Whether it is in his blood or his mind, we will find out his power. I have long wished to increase the magic in my kind. The two mages will suffice. Two examples of their genetic code, before and after the Taint."

"And me?" Ray asked.

"I need an ally on the surface," he said. "There are darker days ahead, Ray. Most of your people, hopefully all, will survive and they will need a leader in the new world. But you...you are already a genetic experiment. Human and elven together, living with the Taint. Already with the possibility of life in you. You know how my kind are born. I can see it in your eyes. I long for a better way for us to be born. If only my kind could carry a child as you do, if only the mother was born of us. Three women of different races lie before me and enough men to father their children. Children already born of the Taint, two Warden parents. The possibilities-"

"I will destroy you," Ray growled, fighting against the restraints. "I will take everything you hold dear and burn it to the very core of this earth. I will kill every single one of your little creations. You want to test what we Wardens are capable of? Let's start now, asshole."

"You only bring wrath and I bring life. I am the Architect. I hoped you would be the Light, the first of the new mothers. Child of two worlds giving birth to a new one."

Ray wanted to sob. She wanted to vomit. She wanted to tear her hair out, but she couldn't give him the satisfaction. Her people needed her.

"Shall we begin, Ray?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE YOU THIS ENDS OKAY. *hands security blanket over*


	16. Chapter Thirteen (Part Two)

**CW still in effect from last chapter**

Once the darkspawn had left the room, Sigrun had managed to get enough give in her restraints to start feeling around the lock. She shook her head slightly, managing to loosen a bobby pin holding back her bangs. She rubbed it against her shoulder until it fell down the gown. She lifted her other shoulder, managing to slip it down to her elbow. She shook her elbow until the pin landed in her fingers. Carefully, she broke it in half and held it between her fingers. She inserted it into the lock and twisted it around until she heard a snap. She released her right hand and picked open her other arm and legs.

Sigrun rose and looked through the medical cabinets. She found a tiny pair of scissors and went over to Velanna. She slipped them between the collar and Velanna's skin, very slowly cutting through the thin leather. Eventually it fell apart and Velanna gasped, coughing as her mana flowed through her.

Velanna snapped the holds off and Sigrun helped her out of bed.

"We've got to find the others," Sigrun said. "If we can get my friends, we can probably rescue your sister. We know they're taking us alive." 

Velanna agreed. "Let's go."

***

Nathaniel had managed to stay conscious even as the darkspawn grabbed them. After his years of exposure to toxic chemicals, he wouldn't black out, but he was still useless in a fight. 

Sigrun, Ray, and Velanna had been taken into a different block. He saw Justice pulled elsewhere. 

He tried to resist as he was chained to the gurney. He saw Oghren and Anders, both dead to the world, chained to beds of their own. Nathaniel closed his eyes, trying to remember every turn of the hallway, every doorway. He had a vague sense of what the place might look like. It was just getting out of this room.

Nathaniel was still catching his breath when Oghren roared awake and fought against his restraints. Once he realized he was stuck, he used the little movement he had to shove Anders. Anders remained unconscious. 

"How are we getting out of this one, Red?" Nathaniel asked.

Oghren said angrily, "We break down this door, rip all these darkspawn's intestines out through their asses, rescue the girls and whatever Sigrun's calling herself these days, and get home. The corpse too, we should probably get him. Now once we get your boy toy awake, he might be able to do something useful for once. Mage!"

Anders didn't stir. Nathaniel's heart raced.

"He's breathing," Oghren said. "He ain't dead yet. They've got a collar on him like a dog. Maybe it's too tight. I dunno. He's alive."

Anders breathed deeply and Nathaniel strained to look at him over Oghren. Anders was pale as a ghost, but he seemed to be stable.

Nathaniel had no idea how long it was until the door opened. He saw three darkspawn come in and free Anders from his restraints. Nathaniel and Oghren screamed and swore, but Anders lay still as they took him away. Nathaniel's skin tore around the cuffs and eventually Oghren talked softly to him until he calmed down. 

"We'll get back your blondie," Oghren promised, attempting to touch his hand. "Don't you worry. Save your strength."

***

Oghren managed to tap his fingers briefly against Nathaniel's. "Come on now, we have to have been here for a few hours now. You probably have some way to break out of here. Lockpicks up your ass?"

"No," Nathaniel grumbled, "everything's in my bag. We'll just have to wait until one of them tries to take us and we'll make a run for it. I can't think of-"

They both stopped, seeing Sigrun and Velanna open the door. 

"Hi boys," Sigrun said cheerfully. "So now we're only missing three. Much better. Sorry we took so long. We got lost a couple of times and you know, hiding from monsters and all that."

Sigrun freed them both from their restraints. 

"I managed to knock out a guard," she said, "but I only got his keys. Okay. So we need our stuff back, Justice, Boss, Anders, and Velanna's sister. We should probably stick together because we can only punch people and our new friend here can zap them with lightning."

Velanna muttered something in Elvish and Sigrun rolled her eyes. 

"Electricity, whatever," Sigrun said. "There's a stairwell not far from here and it looks the most used. Ready to make the big escape?"

Nathaniel agreed, "There's no time to waste."

***

Ray shivered, her body only covered in a thin blanket. The long deep incision over her hip and abdomen throbbed. The bone marrow drill had physically hurt more, but the tissue samples from her ovary and uterus had left her screaming. She begged, she pleaded, for her mother, for her Maker, for Varel, for Sigrun, for Stroud, anyone who might come and save her.

The little elven woman, her eyes shrunken and her skin pale, came back over to Ray. She washed the back of her neck with a cool cloth. 

Ray whispered feverishly, "I don't know if you can understand me, Seranni, but please listen to me. Your sister is alive, she's looking for you. Please, please let me go. I can save you, I can bring you somewhere safe."

Seranni touched her hand briefly before pulling away. The Architect returned to the room and Ray tried to move away from him.

"It will not be so bad in time, Warden," he said. "I will have the results soon and then we can begin with the procedure. So far, I believe our tissues will be compatible."

"I'd tell you to go to hell, but we're both already there," Ray whispered.

"Rest, Warden. You will need your strength."

***

Anders came to at the bottom of a cage. Justice was in one beside him. His body was falling apart. Several fingers were gone, his face patched with the thick flesh of a darkspawn.

"I have little time left," Justice said. "Soon we find out what happens when the flesh fails. At least...at least I am not alone."

"We're going to get you out of here," Anders promised. "Wherever here is."

"Anders," Justice said. "If only one of us survives, it must be you. Do you understand that? Your mortal life is more important than mine."

"Did you become a spirit of sacrifice when I wasn't looking?" Anders teased weakly. "My mana is coming back. I can help with some of the worst of it."

"You should save your strength-"

"Oh shut it," Anders said. "I'm fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me. I was exposed to a lot of puenomic gas as a teenager, I just don't do well with it. Once I get some fresher air, I'll be back to my normal delightful self."

"Anders," Justice said. "There is not much time left. Whatever time I spend left in this body, let me use it to protect yours."

Anders felt a wave of dizziness and he sat down, coughing. It brought back memories of a childhood in captivity, the gas, long banned, but still used then to subdue the dangerous mages. Of all the things they could have dosed him to, it was the poison his body had already ingested too much of. 

A hurlock entered the room and took Anders from his cage. Anders sent the last of his strength fortifying Justice's skin before he was torn from the room.

***

Oghren threw himself at the door, breaking it down. They fought through the few guards, looting weapons from them. Nathaniel picked the lock to Justice's cage. The Spirit's body was nearly unrecognizable and Justice cried in pain. 

"Anders," Justice whispered. "They took him away. He was thinking of you. He was always thinking of you."

Justice slumped and Oghren took him over his shoulder. Nathaniel wanted to scream and he grasped at his hair. Sigrun touched his shoulder.

"I think I see another hidden door up ahead," Sigrun said. "We'll go through it. They wouldn't have dragged him too far. We have to keep going, Nate."

***

Ray laughed weakly when she saw Anders strapped into the table beside her.

"Hey," she greeted. "Welcome to the party. Did you get the bone marrow goodie bag yet? Are you a Type O+? You look like one."

Anders said tiredly, "Glad to see you're alive."

"For now," she sighed. "We'll see how it goes. They take a testicle or something? I got my ovary sliced into not that long ago."

"Not yet," Anders groaned, "but I've got that to look forward to at least now."

"Anything I can do to help," Ray said tiredly.

The Architect returned to the room. He grasped Anders' chin and looked at him in appraisal. Anders' lip trembled.

"He was not the one I wished to take the sperm sample from," he murmured. "I cannot have magic interfere with the study. I will just have to do the cerebrum sample first. Seranni, the razor."

Anders looked around in panic as an electric razor buzzed behind his ear. It cut into his hair and he started crying. Ray tried to reach out to him.

"It's okay, Anders," she reassured. "It's going to be okay."

The door burst open and bullets and fire flew across the room. The Architect fled and several darkspawn entered. Sigrun unlocked Ray and she fell to the floor painfully. The dwarf helped her stand to her feet. 

Ray saw Velanna holding Seranni at arms' length, the two arguing quickly in Elvish. Seranni withdrew and broke into a cabinet beside the examination table. She tossed a dozen notebooks into a bag and handed it to her.

"We've got to go," Sigrun ordered. "Come on!"

Nathaniel carried Anders over his shoulder and raced out. Ray could barely stand and Oghren picked her up as if she were a feather. Sigrun helped Justice and Velanna refused to let go of her sister's hand.

Ray didn't remember much of getting out of the facility. She remembered the sudden burst of early spring air and she saw the flashing bright lights, heard the sounds of gunfire. She was placed in the back of an ambulance, Anders beside her. He was utterly shaking and she tried to grasp his hand.


	17. Chapter Fourteen

Ray sat on the edge of her bed, wearing only her bathrobe. The nurse had been kind and had examined her as softly as possible. While the areas around her uterus and ovary were tender, there appeared to be no lasting damage. After being sworn to secrecy, the nurse said that there seemed to be no evidence of conception or even ovulation. Ray had been given pills to flush out the contents of her uterus, just in case and the nurse advised the same process to the others who feared about the experimentation.

Anders had sequestered himself to his room, only allowing Justice to speak with him. It was just as well. Justice looked so utterly destroyed it was easier to hide him away from any potential press. The others seemed to be alright, though Ray hadn't seen anyone else since they had come back. They avoided hospitals this time. The nature of the three's wounds were classified. 

Ray wanted to read through the Architect's journals, but Nathaniel had not let her see them. He had locked them away for now until it was decided what to do with them. 

Varel knocked at the door. She said nothing and he let himself in. He closed the door behind him and knelt at her feet, his face pale.

"We've recovered the bodies of our scouts and given them to the pyre. The others were informed that you were captured by darkspawn but managed to free yourselves. We came in time to provide a distraction and to bring you home. I've kept the exact circumstances quiet but I think it would be difficult for them to even begin to guess...Ray, I'm so sorry."

She started crying and he kissed her hands. He sat beside her on the bed and pulled her into his lap as tears streamed down her face. 

"He was going to...he was going to..." Ray finally caught her breath. "When I was first recruited, I was sent to help clear out a den just on the border. There was...there was a dead broodmother. It was the first darkspawn I had ever seen. She was still bleeding when I saw her. I asked what I was seeing and the man, the man who was supposed to mentor me, told me that was why they didn't have women Grey Wardens because...because the darkspawn would turn them into those. I've always been scared of them. Always, in my very bones. Some people dream of the Archdemon, I dream about them. And this...this abomination. What he wanted wasn't even to turn me into one of those monsters. He wanted to make hybrids. He wanted me to give birth to a hybrid creature, said I already was one. Maker, I can't...Varel, I-"

She sobbed hard and he held her to his chest tightly. 

"I'm sorry," she laughed weakly. "It's the hormones. I had to make sure, even though I know we were rescued in time. The nurse told me I'd probably cry on and off for the next few days until my body settles down."

Varel whispered, "Cry as much as you need to, Ray. I'm here."

"You know," she said through her tears, "I've had a really shit time in Amaranthine. I've been shot at, poisoned, nearly impregnated by monsters, really I could go on."

He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair.

"Can I quit? Grey Wardens quit all the time in this country," Ray said. "You and me, we'll head for the Free Marches. Get a little cabin. You can retire and raise puppies and I'll go hunting again. Someone else can deal with this mess."

"You do seem to have a high turn over rate," Varel teased. "I'm not sure you want to run away with me. I hate travelling, I'll complain the entire plane ride."

"I'm serious," Ray said. "We get this Architect, burn him to the ground. The Mother too. Then I drop this off on someone else. I don't..."

She started crying again and she wiped her tears away. "Varel, I don't think I can do this much longer."

"Then let's run away together," Varel said softly. "But maybe we'll go somewhere warmer. I hear Antiva is very nice this year."

"Seheron seems popular for ex Wardens," she joked.

Varel chuckled. She kissed him and he stroked her cheek. 

"Stay with me tonight," she said.

"It won't look proper, Ray, there's already so many rumours-"

"Who cares?" She asked tiredly. "I don't. My parents won't. It doesn't matter, we're leaving anyways. Just stay."

He kicked off his shoes. "Okay."

 

***

Oghren waited impatiently, the phone ringing again and again. Eventually, his wife picked up the call.

"Oghren, it's two in the morning and I've been up half the night with Em. Whatever it is, it better be damn important."

"Felsi," Oghren said, "I need you and the nugget to come to Vigil's Keep. It's not safe in Shepard Grove anymore. I've talked to the Seneschal. We'll have a little apartment here. It's not a bad place. The Warden's a good woman, she can take care of you if something happens to me."

"Oghren...what's going on?"

Oghren admitted, "It's been a few really rough days, Felsi. I've been reminded of a lot of things. We both know I'm not a good husband or a good father, but I also know I could be trying harder. The Keep is safer for both of you and I...I want to be part of the nugget's life. Both your lives."

"How much have you drunk tonight?" Felsi asked.

Oghren said honestly, "I'm stone cold sober. I don't know how long that's going to last, but I'm going to try. Please, just get here as soon as you can. I know there's a coach bus tomorrow afternoon, I can wire you the money. I can pick you both up at the station."

"Oghren...this is pretty sudden. Are you sure?"

Oghren said, "It's safe here. Even if you decide you hate the look of me, it's safer here than it is out there."

"Then okay. For now. You better be at the station."

"I promise."

"Then goodnight, Oghren."

She hung up on him and he smiled weakly. 

***

Mischa looked suspiciously around the room. "You live here? This is nicer than where I live..."

"I know, right?" Sigrun said cheerfully. "Look, I have all the books you could ever want and look at these little chicken book ends I found, aren't they lovely?"

"Sigrun," Mischa said, folding her arms. "I'm not coming to live here with you."

"Oh?" Sigrun asked, feeling deflated. 

"I'm moving back to the west. My brother's moved to the surface and he and his wife are expecting. It'll be safer back out there. I should have told you earlier. But you're right, Amaranthine isn't safe anymore. This has been fun, getting to see each other again, and I'm glad this is ending on better terms this time, but I came here to say goodbye. I'm catching a coach bus tomorrow while the routes are still running."

Sigrun's heart felt like it might break. She sat down slowly on her bed. 

"Yeah, of course," Sigrun said sadly.

"Look," Mischa said softly. "I like you. You know that, but I can't ditch everything to move in with a branded girl. My family will disown me."

"I'm a Grey Warden," Sigrun said. "I have no caste anymore. I don't have a gender anymore. I'm me. And I...I was in love with you. I thought you really cared about me."

"I do, but just, I have to be practical."

Sigrun kissed her and Mischa held her face in her hands. They parted and Mischa kissed her cheek.

"Goodbye, Sigrun," she murmured.

Sigrun sat in shock as she left the room. She was still sitting when Oghren came in, handing her a bottle of brandy. They sat drinking together and eventually fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

***

Seranni had not spoken yet. Velanna felt like a cornered animal, pacing back and forth in the room the Wardens had provided for them. She had given her word, she would officially join the Order in the morning. Seranni was ill and needed care, care she wouldn't get back in the forests. She would be safe, the Warden has reassured, and after all they had been through, Velanna believed her.

Seranni lay in their bed, the blankets pulled around her. Velanna sat beside her and stroked her hair. She hummed to her a song from their childhood and Seranni's body relaxed slightly. Velanna curled up beside her and turned out the lights.

***

Justice sat on the very roof of the Keep, looking out at the night sky. His body was decaying too quickly now. He had only a matter of days before he would have to give up his mortal form. He would never see these stars again, never see the moon through these eyes.

He didn't sleep. He didn't need sleep. He just was.

***

Nathaniel had carried Anders from the pits of hell itself. He had carried him across the battlefield as the military attempted to burn out the rest of the darkspawn. Anders appeared to be physically okay, but he locked himself in his room, only allowing Justice to speak with him for a time.

Until then, Nathaniel waited. At first, he kept himself busy as the Lieutenant was out of commission. But hours later, Anders still didn't ask for him and selfishly, Nathaniel needed to know he was safe.

He entered the room and Anders lay perfectly still, curled around an embroidered pillow. Nathaniel sat beside him on the bed and Anders blearily looked up at him, his eyes red from crying.

"How are you feeling?" Nathaniel asked, touching his leg.

"I can breathe now," Anders murmured. "That helps. The nurse said that the gas was attacking my bronchial tubes. My hip hurts less now. I've probably got to shave the rest of my hair off to make it fit. I used to know a spell to make it grow faster, but I can't think of it right now."

Anders sat up slightly. "You know I was twelve when they brought me to the Circle. It was the first time they shaved my head and stuffed me into that orange jumpsuit. Every time I escaped, my hair would grow out and every time they caught me, they shaved it off again. When I did my Harrowing, they shave you so smoothly, just in case they have to brand you. I was told once they've started taking pieces of your brain, seeing which pieces the magic is stored in. It just brought everything back. That's what that thing wanted to do to me."

Anders continued, "I keep thinking about when I was a kid and they'd use that gas anytime they thought we might fight back. The first time, I thought I was dying. It was the best part of solitary. I could breathe there."

"You're safe here," Nathaniel murmured.

"But most of my brothers and sisters are not," Anders said quietly. "I was helpless again. It came flooding back to me. I just...I'm scared, Nate. I don't think I was ever so scared in my life."

Nathaniel laid beside him and held him to him, kissing the back of his neck. 

"I love you," Nathaniel murmured. "I was never so scared as seeing them take you from me. I will keep you safe. I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"I love you too," Anders said, lacing his fingers in his. 

"Get some rest, love," Nathaniel murmured.


	18. Chapter Fifteen (Part One)

They ate breakfast together, all of them. Seranni and Velanna sat near the end of the table, but Felsi was happily agreeing with them about their politics. If she were elven, they probably would have had her join them right there and then. Justice sat with them, just patiently listening. 

Across from Felsi, Oghren sat, bouncing his baby girl on his knee. She ate porridge from the same bowl as her father. Sigrun sat beside him, oddly sullen. But occasionally Emerald would smile at her and Sigrun couldn't help but smile back. 

Varel was actually sitting in the hall, his arm protectively around Ray's waist. Anders and Nathaniel were teasing him about making an appearance outside the office and for corrupting their CO. 

Over the din, they heard, "Shut up! Turn the volume up!"

The radio grew louder and all turned to hear it.

"This is a live broadcast from Amaranthine City. For those of you just tuning in, City Councilor Thomas Masters has been taken hostage by a talking darkspawn calling himself the Second. The Second can be seen through the windows of City Hall. He's coming to the window now and yes, he has Masters with him. We can now confirm, City Councilor David Tyrell is also in the room with them. The Second appears to be about to speak. Let's see."

"I have come for the one called Warden Caron. The Mother sends for you. She will take this city alive and screaming unless you take its place. Come battle for your city, Warden. For every hour that you wait, another of your leaders will die."

"Oh my Maker...listeners, Councilor Tyrell has just fallen. Oh Maker..."

Ray ordered, "We're moving out right now. Varel, inform Garevel to send all available troops to Amaranthine's outskirts. Get all civilians inside and secure our perimeter. Inform King Alistair of the situation. Wardens, we're moving out, now."

Velanna commented, "I'm not technically one-"

"Varel, give her the shot, we don't have time for all this. I need everyone armed and at the livery in ten minutes. Go!"

***

Ray rode in the front on her motorcycle, the one of two dozen streaming from the Keep. Two tanks drove behind her as well as armoured vans and several other motorcycles. They sped down the highway and through the streets of Amaranthine. 

Ray got out in front of City Hall, strapping on her bulletproof vest. 

She looked up, seeing the Disciple at the window. She saluted the police officers guarding the scene and stepped over the yellow tape.

"I'm here!" Ray called out. "What do you want?"

"You are the one they call Caron?"

"Yes. If you want to talk, I'll need you to do something for me. You have six hostages left?"

"Five soon, Warden."

"Let me come up and see you," Ray said. "Trade one of them for me and we can talk."

The creature nodded and shut the window again. Ray went inside City Hall and left her weapons on the ground of the hallway. She went up to the Bann's office and a scared young man was pushed out. She went inside and the Second locked the door. He kept his gun to a Councilor's head but held a radio in his other hand.

"The Mother wishes to speak with you," he said.

Ray took it and shivered, hearing the laugh. "Warden Mother. You came."

"What do you want?" Ray asked.

"We want the Father gone. You want him gone. I know it. You and I both hear the song, you and I both have it in our blood. I was once of yours, I know your human heart. It was mine once. Warden Mother, listen."

"I'm listening," Ray said, swallowing her bile.

"I give you where the Father is and you will kill him. Right now."

"And in return?" Ray asked.

"You let me go into the Roads to find peace. No more fighting."

"Why should I believe you?" Ray asked.

The Mother laughed, "You will find him where all great beasts go to die. That is where he shall die. He thinks himself a god, let him die with them. When he is dead, then you, but not before then."

The Second shot the Councilor and Ray threw herself at the darkspawn, knocking him to the ground. She shot him with his own pistol and kicked open the doors, letting the hostages out. Her own walky-talky went off and she answered as she picked up her weapons. 

"Caron."

Nathaniel said quickly, "Boss, there's a horde on its way here right now. Maybe a thousand of the things."

"How did you know?" She asked, running to her motorcycle. "Are our scouts back yet?"

"You...you'll want to see this."

Ray rode quickly to the front gates of the city and jumped off her bike. She grabbed her gun and aimed it at the Disciple's head. It put its hands up in the air.

"This is the Messenger," Nathaniel explained. "The Architect has sent him."

"Talk fast," Ray spat.

"It is a trap," the Messenger hissed. "The Mother sends you here so she can send her General to your Keep. She intends to slay every Warden now before the Architect can use your blood. You must go back, you must protect your people."

"I've radioed Garevel," Nathaniel confirmed. "They've seen an army marching towards the gates. They don't have enough men, Boss. They're going to get slaughtered."

Ray said quietly, "Nathaniel, rally the police and evacuate the city. Go get your family out of here. Get every able bodied person out in front here. I will not let the City fall."

"But what about the Keep?" Oghren said angrily. "I sent my wife and daughter there, Warden. I'm not leaving them to die!"

"We'll split up," Ray said quickly. "Oghren, we held the Keep before, we can do it again. Anders, you in, for old times' sake?"

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Anders sighed.

"Any other volunteers?" Ray asked.

"I'll go," Velanna said. "My sister needs me."

"Good," Ray said. "We're heading out right now. Nathaniel, once Amaranthine is secure, you guys need to get back to the Keep as soon as you can. We'll leave the army and police here to protect the civilians."

"No," the Messenger hissed. "You will need all your men to keep you safe. The Wardens are most important, the Father, he does not want this."

"I don't give a shit," Ray said. "Nathaniel, kill this thing when you got a second too. Give me the radio."

Nathaniel tossed it to her and she said, "Caron to Vigil Keep. Respond."

"Vigil Keep responding, Garevel here. Orders?"

"Caron here. Expect troops to stay in city. Ready militia and evacuate civilians. Bunker down, Captain. Is the Seneschal available?"

"I'm here, Ray."

Ray said, "Get yourself to safety, Seneschal. We've got plans I don't intend to bail out on. I'll see you soon."

***

The battle was well underway by the time they arrived. Anders jumped off the back of Ray's motorcycle and she tossed it to the ground. Oghren and Velanna were almost a moment behind, the poor Dalish woman looking relieved to be on solid ground.

They made their way over the barricade and into the battle. Ray hid behind a makeshift barrier and fired through a genlock. She reloaded and saw the ogre. She swore to herself.

"I had to save the civilians," she muttered.

***

Nathaniel had barely managed to get his sister and her husband onto the transport. Her contractions had already begun and it was likely his nephew was going to be born on the road. He kissed her forehead and slammed the door shut. 

He had no idea how many people he got out of the city before the darkspawn broke through the walls. He ordered for the release of the silverite powder, knowing how many innocents it might kill. He needed to kill as many darkspawn as they could in order to protect the Keep. 

The clouds grew dark overhead as the jets raced overhead, bombing the creatures. It began to rain.

***

The wave of darkspawn appeared to be over. Ray stood, catching her breath. Anders quickly sent a rejuvenation spell over her before making his rounds and checking on the others. 

Ray walked the courtyard, patting the backs of her soldiers, shaking their hands. It was then she saw Varel coming out of the Keep. She ran to him and embraced him.

"I told you I was coming back," she said proudly.

He wiped the mud off her face. "I never doubted it, my Lady."

They both turned, hearing the explosions. The air was thick with chemicals and the rain tasted of silverite, like poison.

"Get back inside," she ordered. "If you're tossing yourself in front of anyone today, keep my soldiers' families safe."

She kissed him quickly before reloading her gun. She ran back to the front lines and didn't look back.

***

Nathaniel startled, feeling Justice's hand on his shoulder. The Spirit handed him the radio. He took it quickly.

"Nate, it's me."

"Anders," Nathaniel sighed. "Are you okay?"

"Nate, it's pretty bad up here. Boss wants you to leave as many as you need to keep the city safe but send everyone else up this way. She needs the three of you back right now. Nate, just in case-"

"No," Nathaniel cut him off. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

***

Ray climbed the parapets and saw the rest of the horde descending upon them. Hundreds more. She had protected so many of her soldiers until now, but they were worn ragged and running low on supplies. Her fortress was beginning to show its fatigue. Without reinforcements, they might not last another hour. 

She turned her head towards the city, seeing the first helicopters coming towards them. There was still some hope.

***

As soon as Nathaniel hit the ground, he dove into the battlefield looking for Anders. Upon seeing the mage, he raced to him and kissed him quickly. Nathaniel guarded him as he continued his barrier. Nathaniel grabbed a bottle of lyrium from his bag and tossed it to him. He drank it thankfully. 

"The others are coming, we just have to hold out," Nathaniel promised.

***

Ray was out of bullets. She switched to her sword, holding it out in front of her weakly. She slashed through those attacking her, uneasy on her feet. A few bullets embedded themselves in her jacket and knocked the wind out of her. She leaned back down behind the barricade. 

"You got any ammo left, Red?" She asked Oghren.

"None, only got an axe," he said. "Never wished I was a mage before. We need to get us more of those if we get out of this, eh?"

"You're going to get out of this," she promised. "You survived the Blight."

"Spent most of my time drunk at camp, barely even did anything. That's why I joined up. I wanted to get another good fight under my belt. This one's a doozy." 

Ray smirked. "You get your axe, Red."

Oghren hit his chest and rose with her. They fought back to back through the onslaught. Ray felt a bullet pierce her left arm, but she kept steady, adrenaline pumping through her.

"For the Wardens!" She screamed.

***

Anders' whole world stopped when Nathaniel suddenly fell. Anders tried to run to him. Justice threw himself in front of Anders, providing a shield. 

Nathaniel's breath was shallow and he was fading fast. Anders didn't have enough to save him and he knew it. Anders wanted to throw up.

Justice groaned in pain beside him, his body riddled with bullets. Anders grasped his hand as his friend grew close to death.

"Take me," Anders pleaded. "Join my body. I need you."

Kristoff's corpse fell and Anders felt the rush of power. He breathed air back into Nathaniel's lungs and his lover gasped, still unconscious. Anders stood, a strange tingling running through his fingers, his thoughts rushing through him faster than he could catch them.

He set his eyes on the darkspawn ahead and let go.


	19. Chapter Fifteen (Part Two)

Nathaniel felt like he had been kicked in the chest by a horse. He rose slowly, the rain pouring down his face. The battle was almost over. The reinforcements had come, he could hear them outside the gates. But the courtyard was still littered with bodies from both sides. He saw Justice dead beside him and he closed Kristoff's eyes. 

He walked further into the rain and looked for the rest of his friends. He could hear Oghren's voice muttering endearments to presumably his wife and child. Velanna and Sigrun were resting behind a barricade, sharing a canteen. 

He could hear Ray still at the gates, her voice unmistakable even in a firefight. He grabbed his gun and ran to her side. The darkspawn were retreating. He saw the gore ahead of him and nearly vomited. Blood and destroyed bodies littered the road. 

And he couldn't see Anders.

***

Ray ran out of ammo and she put her rifle back over her shoulder. It was done now. She could rest. 

She walked towards the Keep and saw Varel coming towards her. She smiled tiredly. He came towards her and suddenly fell, blood now staining his chest. She grabbed him and brought him down to the ground. She looked around, seeing the sniper from a tree. She grabbed her hunting knife and tossed it, hitting the genlock dead between the eyes.

She turned back to Varel and pressed down on the wound.

Ray promised. "It'll be okay. Just hold on."

She screamed for Anders but no one came. She looked around fearfully, screaming his name again. But only Nathaniel came to her side, kneeling beside her.

"Anders is missing," Nathaniel said fearfully. "He's gone. I don't know where. I think they might have taken him."

"Find a doctor, now!" She ordered.

Varel reached up to touch her face and she batted his hand down.

"Lie still," she demanded. 

"Ray," he murmured. "It's okay."

"No. You survived much worse than this," she insisted. "I'm not letting you die because of a stray bullet. That's ridiculous. You just hold on."

"I love you," he whispered, his voice strained. He gasped for air and tears streamed down her face.

He lasted for a few more minutes, but it felt like seconds to her. Too quick, his life snatched from him. He couldn't speak and she thought if she said anything she would burst into tears. 

Nathaniel ran back to her, but Varel had taken his last breath already. She closed his eyes and stood, shaking. Nathaniel embraced her and she buried her face in his shoulder.

"We're going to get the Architect," she swore. "We're burning him out of his hole. The Mother too. And we're going to get Anders back. Let's go, Nate. Just you and me, like it was always supposed to be. Let's bring him home."

***

The remaining forces attacked the Dragonbone Wastes, leaving no survivors. In the chaos, the two hunters snuck into Drake's Fall. They fought their way through the intricate hallways, finally reaching the Architect's lair.

The Architect rose from his desk, his notes lying all around him.

"It does not have to be this way, Wardens," he said. "I can help you both still. Together, we can still end the Blight."

"Where is Anders?" Nathaniel demanded, pulling out his knife.

"Your lover is not here, Warden, but he still can be saved. He is in a place where no one can reach him, a place where there is only hate and fear. If you spare me, Warden, then I will undo what has been done to him."

Nathaniel turned to Ray and she shook her head adamantly. "No. Nathaniel, you know what he did to me. To Anders. He needs to die, right now. If Anders is still alive, we'll find him. But this son of a bitch needs to die."

Nathaniel pressed the knife to the Architect's throat. He did not resist. Nathaniel dropped the knife and Ray pushed him aside, shooting the Architect through the chest. She shot him five more times before he collapsed.

"I couldn't-" 

"It's okay," she reassured. "We've got to keep going. The Mother is still out there."

"What if-"

"If he had Anders, he wouldn't let him go," Ray said. "You don't...you don't know what that thing was capable of."

"Lead on," Nathaniel said.

They continued through the dark passages, slashing their way through. Eventually they came to the chamber of the Mother. They entered slowly, guns ahead. Ray saw her and nearly fainted. A broodmother with human features, grinning, smiling.

"Am I not beautiful?" The creature laughed. "You could still join me, Warden. The Architect would be so proud. We could be sisters!"

Ray pulled out her ceremonial sword and went forward. Nathaniel shot the darkspawn who tried to attack her, leaving Ray to run up the creature's body. The broodmother bit her throat and Ray screamed, slashing through the Mother's neck. Ray fell back to the ground, the poison taking over her. Nathaniel picked her up and ran out towards the light. Ray tried to stay awake, but her body grew numb. 

"Hang on," he ordered. 

"Nate," she murmured. "Go find Anders. It's okay. Just leave-"

"We both know Anders is dead," Nathaniel admitted. "Let me save you."

Ray closed her eyes and leaned into his frame. 

*** 

Ray managed to recover enough to walk out of Drake's Fall on her own. Her soldiers had cleared out the wastes and she ordered them to go into the fortress to kill any darkspawn they saw. She knew there couldn't be much more, but she wanted to be sure.

They returned to the Keep and she went deep into the cellars where she had laid Varel's body. She sat beside him and wept.

***

King Alistair came for the funerals of those who had died in the battle and to announce assistance to refugees from Amaranthine. Ray stood dutifully through all of the ceremony, but she could not string together enough words to say anything meaningful.

When they were able to, they went into her study.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I'm fine, your Majesty," she responded.

"You're not," he said. "I remember what I was like after the Blight. You've got the same look. Empty, hollow."

"I intend to submit my resignation, your Majesty," she admitted. "I've already told the First Warden over the phone. The paperwork is in progress now. I've requested Nathaniel Howe to take over my post in accordance with your treaty. I think the people of Amaranthine would rather have a Howe on the throne anyways."

"You could marry first," he suggested. "You are still nobility until then. It might be a good time to make a suitable match."

"Speaking honestly," Ray said, "I just want to go home. I miss my family. I miss the forests of the west. The First Warden has been kind enough to offer me an honourable discharge. I'd like to take it."

"I've heard that you and the Seneschal were quite close. I know...you might regret not getting married because of how you felt about him. I know Fergus Cousland. He is a good man and a kind one. He is recently widowed. He would understand if you weren't...a maid anymore. You've done a lot of good in Amaranthine. You could do a lot for the people of Highever."

"I'll think about it," Ray said quietly.

"Thank you for your service, Arlessa," he said, taking her hand in his. 

"Thank you for believing in me," she said. "I'm sorry I failed you."

King Alistair said softly, "You didn't. Not everyone could have done what you have done here. You deserve some rest."

He left the room and Ray sat on her desk. She picked up the phone and called home.


	20. Epilogue

Ray shifted in her seat. A makeup artist quickly brushed her cheeks and smoothed down her hair. Ray crossed her ankles and folded her hands in her lap. The light blinked on, but she didn't look at the camera but the reporter before her.

"This is Alexandra Purdy, reporting live from the ATV recording studio. I have across from me Arlessa Ray Caron, former Lieutenant of the Ferelden Grey Wardens. Thank you for speaking with me today, your highness."

"Please, call me Ray."

Alexandra smiled nervously. "Okay, Ray. You've had quite the year it seems. I have to admit, I've been a big admirer of your work in the region. After all your accomplishments, it must be difficult leaving Amaranthine."

"Well, I will be around to visit," Ray chuckled. "Amaranthine is still my holding, after all. But I must admit, it will be nice to get to travel the country a little more."

"So can you explain what is happening with the throne of Amaranthine? It might seem a little complicated to viewers at home."

"Of course. Vigil's Keep is still run by the Grey Wardens and will be maintained and ruled by a Warden. I have given up my position in order to marry Teryn Fergus Cousland. After my marriage, Nathaniel Howe will be given my previous title and the rank of Warden Commander of Ferelden."

"A lot of people have talked about your whirlwind romance with the Teryn. It's such a romantic story. Can you share with the viewers at home how you met?"

Ray smiled. "Well, a few weeks after the invasion of Amaranthine, we were introduced at a royal ball in Denerim. Our eyes met across the room and...well, that was it. We both lived through the war and knew how short life was, so we decided to just go for it. He's an amazing man. I can't believe my luck."

"Now you're from Highever, am I right? It's really quite the fairy tale. You've gone from peasant to princess. I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to the wedding. It's going to be absolutely beautiful, Ray. Are you nervous?"

"Of course," Ray laughed. "What woman wouldn't be? But I figure, I faced darkspawn, I can handle walking down the aisle."

"Now, between us ladies, there were certainly rumours that you were involved with someone else. There was certainly some speculation."

Ray's face faltered slightly and she recovered. Alexandra continued, "Nathaniel Howe is certainly an eligible bachelor. I personally thought that would have been quite the romance. Are you sure you won't leave the Teryn at the altar for that handsome face?"

Ray chuckled, "No, Nate is a very good friend but I'm very happy with Fergus."

"And we are so happy for you, Arlessa. Soon to be Teryna! Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"This is Alexandra Purdy. We'll be speaking more to the Arlessa after this commercial break."

The light flicked off and the crew flitted around her, fixing lights and sound. Ray played with her engagement ring. Nathaniel actually had picked it out for her and it was beautiful. She was still getting used to the weight of it. She imagined Fergus was at home, watching this interview, just as nervous as she was that she would give away that this match had been arranged.

But she knew in her heart she was making the right decision. This was the best way to keep her family safe. She could bring reforms to the city that had once cast them out for her parents' interracial marriage and it was the best way for Nathaniel to take over the throne.

But it still hurt.

After the interview was over, she went for a walk through downtown Amaranthine. Eventually, she went into a restaurant and changed back into her riding clothes. She took her motorcycle back up to the Keep. 

She would never go into the City again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. So this is like the Empire Strikes Back of the three. Sorry.


End file.
